


Fulcrum Effect

by Mourwen



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9669122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mourwen/pseuds/Mourwen
Summary: Waking up on Eden Prime in the middle of Saren's attack was bad enough without the migraine - and that's not even mentioning the other complications. What is going on? This is supposed to be a videogame! Self insert. Cross-posted from FanFic.net





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this is not my first-ever fanfiction, it is my first of any real length. And, to be honest, it's the third I've ever written (the second ever is not online and never will be). So please forgive any hiccups in formatting? I'll be trying to clean them up as best I can while I figure this out all over again.

Someone was screaming.

No, a lot of someones were screaming. And someone was letting off strange fireworks, ones that were all _bang!_ and _crackcrackcrack!_ with no whistles.

But after the staccato bursts faded, fewer voices cried out. That's when she realized it was gunfire.

 _What's going on?_ The girl opened her eyes to red skies bleeding onto a disjointed collage of grey industrial loading zone carved into verdant forest. A strange sense of familiarity began to grow, even as panic grasped her heart and throat. _Where am I?_

She rolled onto her side, and her nose was pressed against a heavy crate. The metal was cool against her fevered skin, and she lay there a moment, trying to pinpoint when the pain had begun. A fierce ache in her skull made her wish for a soft, dark room and prescription-strength painkillers, but a fresh eruption of gunshots renewed her sense of urgency.

Getting onto her knees was an effort that she did not relish. She had just gotten a foot on the ground when strong hands grabbed her and pulled her down. She didn't even have time to think of crying out before a hand covered her mouth and a scruffy, wide-eyed face leaned over hers, a quivering finger to his lips.

A light shone on them from beyond the crates. The two looked up, and both froze in fear – though for very different reasons. And as they sat, immobile, the construct raised its weapon. A single shot rang out.

The light stuttered and died as the construct collapsed onto the crates.

Scrambling as quietly as possible, the man dragged her backwards behind a higher stack of crates. She managed to get to her knees and crawl with him, only pausing when she heard an odd, flanging voice call out.

“Saren?”

The voice and that name roused memories that stopped her. That _déja vu_ feeling returned, stronger. She turned away from the man – _Powell, his name is Powell_ – who was beckoning to her frantically, and crawled back to the first row of crates, and the construct – _a Geth trooper, and it shouldn't be here on the platform_.

“Nihlus.”

She peered through the narrow gap between the crates, and the panic that had gripped her was replaced by dread and disbelief.

A turian man – _this isn't happening, it's impossible, they don't exist!_ – with dark, red-brown plates and white facial markings stood on the loading platform, a weapon in one hand and gesturing with the other at something beyond her view. “This isn't your mission, Saren. What are you doing here?”

A second turian man, pale grey and with a prosthetic left arm that looked like a Geth's, walked into the narrow view, obscuring the first. “The Council thought you could use some help on this one.” He passed Nihlus, walking out of the narrow gap's view.

She knew what was coming. But she couldn't move. Half of her wanted to intervene, but the other half feared the unknowable repercussions that a change of events would bring.

Nihlus relaxed and looked right at her – _no, at the fallen Geth trooper_ – and said, “I wasn't expecting to find the Geth here. The situation's bad.”

“Don't worry,” Saren said, and a gun's muzzle appeared in the narrow view, aimed at the back of Nihlus' head. “I've got it under control.”

_NO!_

And suddenly she was leaping up, hands outstretched, and a dome of rippling blue energy hummed into existence around the turian Nihlus. Her vision blurred as pain like an ice pick drove into her right eye, but the Barrier deflected Saren's bullet without breaking.

For a split second, all three froze as if in a Stasis field. She had enough time to wonder, _How did I do that?_

Then Nihlus was turning to face Saren, gun raised and firing; and the pale turian was aiming a Warp at the girl as he launched himself back and away, snarling. Saren's Warp hit her like a tonne of bricks, magnifying the existing migraine exponentially, and the girl fell heavily against the Geth trooper. She watched through a haze of pain as Saren took cover on the stairs Nihlus had climbed not five minutes ago.

Nihlus vaulted over the crates beside the girl, pulling her down into cover with him as he crouched. “What are you doing, Saren?” he yelled.

“Your presence here is unfortunate. As is your death.” Saren replied. Three shots rang out, two hitting the crates sheltering them, the third striking the remains of the Geth trooper.

The girl's gaze snapped to the Geth as it shifted, locking on its pulse rifle. Nihlus leaned over the crates to fire a return volley at Saren, jostling the construct further, so that the gun dropped from its slack fingers. _What am I doing? s_ he asked herself, grabbing it with trembling hands.

The two turians exchanged fire, but no further remarks. After Nihlus returned to cover again, the girl realised with relief that the effects of Saren's Warp had abated, and only the ice pick-migraine remained. She took a steadying breath, gripped the rifle tightly and, when Nihlus ducked down again after another round of shots, rose to a crouch and held down the trigger. She managed to hit the railing and the platform's floor, but the gun's recoil and her overall lack of training made the weapon little more than a high-tech club in her hands.

The disdain on Saren's face was recognisable to her despite his strange features. The pale turian waved a negligent hand, sending another Warp her way. She had just enough time to drop the gun and fling her hands up in the gesture that triggered her Barrier before the attack hit.

Everything exploded into blue light and pain.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware this is short. The second chapter will be significantly longer. I hope this is enough of a taste to be interesting!  
> I must give a very big thanks to the three folks acting as my beta readers and editors. I wouldn't have gotten past the first ten sentences without them!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just have to say that I'm blown away with how much feedback I've gotten, between FFNet and here. I honestly expected that it would only be my friends (and the one of my brothers who reads fanfics) reading my fic.  
> Thank you. Every last one of you who have read, favourited, commented, or followed has increased my self-confidence a hundredfold. I hope that you continue to enjoy reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it.

She opened her eyes to red skies behind a veil of dark smoke, and intense pain all over her body. The ringing in her ears was fading, so she could hear people calling.

“Hey! Is anyone alive under there?”

“I think I saw someone on this side!”

“Commander, we've found them!”

Then hands were pulling her free of the rubble, and faces – _familiar faces_ – swam in her vision.

A man in dark grey armour was kneeling beside her, looking her over and saying things like, “It's going to be okay, miss. Can you tell me where you're hurt? Can you move all your fingers and toes? Any headache or dizziness?”

She knew his voice. She knew his _face_. But she'd never met him before.

He shined a light from his omni-tool into her eyes, gently forcing her eyelids open one at a time, and asked her, “Can you tell me your name, miss?”

She couldn't answer. There were no words in her head.

“Do you know where you are?” he continued quietly, tilting her head so he could see the gash on her cheek better.

She whimpered when he applied the cold, stinging gel to the wound, but she couldn't form words. She grabbed the hand that glowed with his omni-tool's orange interface to prevent him from using more medi-gel, then stopped.

Her hand felt very strange.

The girl's eyes locked on her fingers, unable to move or protest as the armoured man carefully peeled her hand from his arm. She continued to stare at her hands even while he checked her for other obvious wounds, obeying numbly when he had her move her limbs or turn her head.

The fingers didn't overlap each other. She laid her hand flat, pressing her fingers together, but they were still straight. _But they've always been bent, they've always made holding things annoying..._ She made a fist with her right hand, marvelling at the simple feeling. _Haven't they?_

The world spun dizzyingly, and she closed her eyes. Her body was wrong, something in her head was _wrong_ , and the high-stress environment wasn't helping in the least. The only frame of reference she had for the feeling was when she'd gotten double vision after...

 _Stop thinking about it!_ The girl took several deep breaths, trying to stave off the nausea. _Trying to remember things is making it worse. Open your eyes and use your ears, don't think about it anymore!_

“Hey, you still with me?” asked the man in grey armour – _Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. I don't_ believe _this._ He had put delicate smears of medi-gel on the few deeper scrapes while she'd been lost in thought – _it doesn't sting anymore_ – and now was offering her his hand.

A deep breath in, and a nod, and she took his hand. He lifted her easily, and steadied her when the dizziness hit again.

“Whoa! Maybe you should find a seat?”

She nodded again, and gingerly made her way over to a crumpled-looking crate.

The lieutenant returned to the pile of rubble she'd been pulled from. It looked like two others, people dressed in worn work clothes, were carefully removing chunks of the platform from someone else.

The girl felt sick again. _Nihlus was right beside me!_

Between the three of them, they managed to pull a very battered turian out of the rubble, without further injuring him from the sounds of the lieutenant's commentary. A little of the tension left the girl's muscles at that.

Only to return tenfold at the other man's gasp, “His leg!”

“Careful!” Nihlus' flanging voice was unmistakable. She was relieved to hear him, but couldn't stop worrying.

“Let's set him down in the clear space.” Alenko directed them towards a relatively debris-free area near the girl.

Nihlus' right leg was a mess. She wasn't even really well-versed in human anatomy, but she was pretty sure turian legs shouldn't bend like that, and his armour was scuffed and dented. When she moved her gaze to his head, she met very green eyes staring back at her.

“Glad you made it,” the turian's mandibles flicked against his jaw in an expression she couldn't define.

Then he was focused on the lieutenant as they tried to gauge the extent of the damage to his leg, and she closed her eyes and leaned forward to put her head on her knees, hands smoothing back the hair that had escaped its tie. The migraine was bad enough, but the dizziness and nausea made her wish for that dark room again. She breathed slowly, letting her mind wander to how each part of her felt, how one sock had slid down around her ankle inside her boot, how her cargo pants chafed against a scrape on her shin, the way her back ached right up into her neck, and the way the breeze picked up each of the tears in her clothes to flutter against the abrasions beneath.

Just as the world stopped spinning, a loud argument by the crates that were still intact caught her attention. She got up slowly and began to move closer on unsteady feet.

“You greedy son of a bitch! We're out here trying to protect your sorry ass and all you can think about is how you can rip us off?”

She looked over in time to watch the first man she'd seen upon waking, Powell, cower back from the accusing finger of a woman in white-and-pink armour – _Ashley Williams, lower-ranked marine of the... what was her group's name?_

“I never thought you'd need those grenades!” the man protested in a whining voice. “Who'd want to attack Eden Prime? We're just a bunch of farmers! How as I supposed to know?”

“Forget about him,” said the third person, thrusting her arm in front of Williams. “He's not worth it.”

 _Commander Shepard!_ thought the girl, heart in her throat once more as she stared at the woman in the black armour with the striking red-and-white stripes down its right arm. She stood just beyond the three, trying to hear without interrupting.

Williams stabbed her finger at the man again, saying, “You're lucky the commander's here, Powell. Hand over those grenades.”

“They're yours! Take them. My smuggling days are over, I swear!”

Several small objects – _the grenades look so strange_ – were withdrawn from the man's tool belt and handed over.

“A lot of marines died here, Powell.” The woman in the N7 armour tilted her head to look the former smuggler in the eyes. “Those grenades could have come in handy. If I were you, I'd think of some way to make it up to them.”

“Yeah. Okay. There is something else I was saving. Could be worth a fortune. Experimental technology. Top of the line.” Powell admitted, taking something from another pocket on his belt. “Take it. I don't need it. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Really. I'm sorry.”

The red-striped black helmet nodded. “We need to find that beacon before it's too late.”

“Take the cargo train. That's where the other turian went.” He gestured in the direction of the train, and then seemed to notice the girl for the first time. Shock and relief lit his face. “You're okay! I can't believe you survived!”

Shepard and Williams turned to the girl, who looked down and hunched her shoulders under the combined gazes.

“What the hell?” exclaimed Williams. “This kid is the biotic who caused that explosion?”

“It was dangerous to involve yourself in a firefight, kid,” admonished Shepard, her words belied by the gentle tone she used. “You're, what, fifteen-sixteen? Shouldn't you be at the Grissom Academy?”

The words were there, finally, but the weight of the Commander's stare stopped her voice. The girl nodded lamely, fidgeting with the hem of her sweatshirt and wishing she could disappear.

“Then why are you here, kid?” still talking gently, Commander Shepard took a small step closer. “Where are your parents?”

“They're...” The girl looked up into Shepard's green eyes, trying to force more words out. “My parents are – !” _Throat raw from shouting, too many people running, screaming, where are they?_ – the ice-pick migraine burst in her eye socket with new intensity, and her knees started to buckle, suddenly weak – _down in the dig site, I can't get to them, their eyes wide with terror, they yell at me, “Get somewhere safe! We'll try to follow!”_ – but a strong hand under her arm held her upright as the dizziness and something else gripped her. Shepard supported most of her weight, even when the girl turned her head to the side and vomited.

Her ears were ringing again, muffling Shepard's voice strangely as the black-armoured woman directed Williams to help lower her to the ground. The girl watched numbly from her seat as the Commander questioned Powell about her.

“That's the Nagai kid. The dig team had this man, Dr. Nagai, helping them excavate because some of the machines he helped develop were useful, more detailed or something. The Doc and his wife were... oh, damn. They were at the dig site today.”

“Then there isn't much we can do,” said Shepard, frustration straining her calm. She seemed to be deliberating the available options when Alenko trotted over.

“Commander!” he called. “It's Nihlus.”

“How's he doing?” Shepard asked, still looking at the girl.

“He won't be walking on that leg anytime soon. If ever.” The armoured man glanced at the puddle of vomit, then stared hard at the girl for a beat before continuing. “It's frankly a miracle he isn't in worse condition.”

“Hell,” The Commander finally tore her eyes away from the kid to look at Nihlus. “He can't continue with us like that. He's gonna be pissed.”

“He already is. But he won't listen to me.”

“He won't want to listen to me, either, but I guess I should still tell him.” Shepard sighed, a short, sharp sound. “I'll contact the _Normandy_ to have him picked up.” And so saying, she trudged off towards the wounded turian.

“Hey, miss,” said Alenko softly, kneeling in front of the girl. Her eyes moved slowly to meet his, squinting against the pain of daylight. “Do you think you can stand? The farmers have the way down off the platform clear now.”

She stared at him, unable to find sense in his words through the haze of pain and static that filled her mind.

Raised voices drew both Alenko and the girl's attention for a moment, as Nihlus protested Shepard's “suggestion” that he wait for evac.

“You can't face Saren alone!” The turian man's flanging voice sounded strained. “He's the Council's best Spectre, their most ruthless operative!”

Shepard shouted right back. “Nihlus, you can't even stand on that leg, let alone keep up in a fight! Stay here –”

“I'm not letting –”

“– the shuttle to get you –”

“– against him without –”

“– so you can be up to facing –”

“Dammit, Shepard!” snarled Nihlus, and the Commander paused. “He was my _mentor_! My _friend_!”

The black-armoured figure stood very still for a moment. “I'm not dragging you along and endangering my squad just so you can die at his hands seeking answers – or _vengeance_! Wait here, Nihlus.” She turned her back to the Spectre's impotent fury and began walking back toward them.

The lieutenant looked back at the girl, his brows drawn together and his lips pressed in a thin line. He seemed to search her eyes for something, but when he didn't find it, he stood and told Powell, “Keep her safe.”

“Wh-what? I'm barely able to keep myself safe,” he began, then flinched as Alenko and Williams both looked at him. “I mean, I'll do whatever I can!”

“You'd better.” said the armoured man softly.

Then Shepard reached them.

“Right, we should go,” she said, regret in her eyes when she glanced at the girl.

“Don't worry, we'll take care of her,” Powell said. He managed to keep from flinching when the Commander turned her gaze to him.

“Good,” Shepard nodded once. “The cargo train?”

Powell pointed, and the three marines moved out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just over double the first chapter! I hope this is more satisfying? If anything doesn't flow nicely, or you have suggestions or critiques, please feel free to let me know! Even if all you say is, "Nice work." or the like, it is incredibly encouraging to hear from you!  
> And I must give thanks, once again, to my wonderful betaditors (edetareaders?). This thing would have died stillborn (like so many others before it) without you!


	3. Chapter 3

After the sound of the cargo train's departure had faded, three people in smutched work clothes called Powell over to the top of the platform's stairs. He dithered for a moment, looking between them and the Nagai girl, before coaxing her to take his hand and leading her towards them. They fell to bickering almost immediately upon reaching comfortable talking range, leaving the girl to stand passively, awkwardly, just outside of their cluster.

A pained grunt drew her attention to Nihlus. He was trying to prop himself up against the damaged crate she'd settled on before, injured leg stretched out before him.

Piercing green eyes caught hers again. The turian lifted his right hand to her. “Help me sit up.”

She hesitated, tucking flyaway whisps of brown hair behind her ears. The static had begun to release her mind, so she was able to understand him, but... “Should you move much?”

“So you _can_ talk,” Nihlus' mandibles tapped his jaw again. One of his brow plates shifted , and he shrugged. “Well, if you don't want to help, I'll just do it myself, then.”

Her hand closed around his before he let it drop, and his mandibles flared out a little. Dismissing the thoughts of how strange his three-fingered hand felt, she put her other hand on his elbow to brace him as he levered himself into a sitting position. She flinched when he hissed quietly in pain.

“That's a bit better,” said Nihlus. Then he took a closer look at his mangled leg. “Alenko did a good job, especially for a human field medic.”

 _That's a 'good job?'_ thought Nagai. Nihlus' leg was no longer bending wrong, and it seemed to have been splinted by welding the turian's armour in place or something. But it still looked like something that had been in a trash compactor.

Nihlus started to push himself up onto the crate.

Alarmed, the girl held her hands out to stop him, but he'd gotten his uninjured leg underneath him already. Then he was trying to stand, but he overbalanced quickly and stumbled into her, nearly taking them both down.

“Hey, now!” Powell and the farmer woman managed to steady them before they could fall. One of the men tried to take Nihlus' other arm to let the girl get out from under his weight, but the turian jerked out of his grasp, almost toppling them again. They wobbled, and the farmers tried to offer support, and the girl had the impression that they'd look ridiculous if this were happening anywhere else because of how much shorter and smaller she was than the turian. The farmer told Nihlus, “You shouldn't be standing, sir! That medic said you needed to keep your leg as still as possible.”

“What I _need_ is to get to the spaceport,” Nihlus growled. “Now.”

“The soldiers took the cargo train,” said Powell. “We can recall it from here, but it won’t return unless they’ve already arrived and debarked, and even then it will take time!”

Nihlus gave a vicious snarl that vibrated through his armour and shook the girl's bones. The four humans stepped back, hands raised as if surrendering.

“I can get there.”

Five pairs of eyes turned to the girl, and only one pair weren’t falling out of their heads incredulously. Nagai immediately lowered her eyes.

“How?” demanded Nihlus, shifting his weight off her slightly to see her better.

The farmers and Powell began to protest, but the turian merely looked at them and they clammed right up. He turned back to the girl expectantly.

She took a deep breath, then glanced up. “Dad's skycar.”

 

* * *

 _Why did I open my big mouth? This was a terrible idea!_ and _I'm going to crash. We're going to die_ , were the foremost coherent thoughts in her head. Everything else was static and white noise.

“Up! Pull up!” yelped Nihlus. The turian was stretched out in the beat-up old X3M's passenger seat with the chair as far back as it could go to accommodate his inability to bend his right leg. He was also bracing himself against the bulkheads with his arms and uninjured left leg stiffly, since the harness wasn't adequately anchoring him to the seat.

Nagai recognised his instructions on some level, but this deep in the fog and static, she couldn't make her body obey them on time. A horrible wrenching sound filled the cabin.

“Right, that was a tree. Maybe try to avoid those, yes?” said Nihlus. Under his breath, he muttered, “This was possibly a mistake.”

She wished she could tell him, _Nooo, you think?_ but her teeth were locked together, and her jaw muscles refused to relax. Her seat, the pilot's seat, was shoved as far forward as it could go, and she sat rigidly in it, the harness straps cinched all the way.

If only they'd been able to convince Powell to drive. Or Blake. Or Cole. Or the woman, whatever her name was.

She jerked her hands across the haptic interface, just as Nihlus yelled at her, “Cliff!”

But no! They'd refused, point-blank. “Not shuttle pilots,” they'd said. Didn't want to head into more danger was more likely. Not that she could blame them. It was only when they'd literally walked away, and Nihlus had started trying to get himself into the pilot's seat that she had stepped in. Nihlus had forced her hand. _What am I doing?_

“What are you doing! Get lower!” The turian grunted as his head hit the skycar's ceiling. “Steady, even out. If we're too high, that massive ship could decide we're a threat!”

_Shit, Sovereign!_ The skycar's sudden lurch sideways flung Nihlus against the door. “Watch it! You sure you know how to fly this thing?”

_If that mattered so much, why did you drag me along and not one of the others?_

Between the extreme anxiety of operating the shuttle without the soothing, solid presence of her father – _no, stop that, don't think about it_ – and the volume of the turian's directions, Nagai's headache was worsening. It was getting to the point at which she'd be likely to lose the next day or so in recovery.

“There's the spaceport!” said Nihlus, taking the risk of pointing with one hand. He slammed it angrily back into place against the bulkhead. “Damn him! That's got to be Saren's shuttle leaving now!”

“Do we follow?” The words were out before she could think them through – _again! Where is my voice when I actually_ need _it? –_ but she knew without a doubt that haring after Saren would be the worst possible choice. Not least because that would mean approaching the Reaper.

It took Nihlus a worrying moment to reply. “No. Remain on course for the spaceport,” he said, his voice clipped. After another couple thundering heartbeats, he added, “I can't face him now and expect to survive. I shouldn't have survived at the train station.”

The girl didn't know how to respond to that. It was too close to being an admission of fear, but also very nearly a thank-you, all wrapped up in a heap of grief, frustration, and betrayal.

As the skycar drew closer to the spaceport, she and Nihlus could see the lights of many geth platforms, and the erratic flashes that signalled battle. Then the Commander's squad came into view, on a walkway in cover around a large device.

 _Oh, that's bad, that's only the second_ – the bottom dropped out of her stomach as the sensation of vertigo rolled over her like a wave. Her feet slid off the pedals limply as she dry-heaved, and the skycar shuddered ominously.

“Kid? Hey, kid!” Nihlus grabbed her shoulder, fear and concern making his grip painful and vice-like. “Get a hold of yourself!”

She couldn't tell if the skycar was actually spinning or if it was just her head, but closing her eyes didn't help. Swiping away a string of drool and bile with shaking hands, the girl jammed her feet back on the pedals and tried very hard to convince the old shuttle to right itself. The dashboard told her the best she could hope for was an emergency landing.

Absurdly, a grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. “I'm a leaf on the wind,” she mumbled. “Watch how I soar.”

“What are you ta – _what are you doing_!” howled Nihlus, bracing himself as best he could.

The X3M was aimed more-or-less directly at a group of geth platforms in good cover. From where Shepard's squad was firing at them, anyway. Warning lights painted the inside of the cabin with reds and yellows as alarm horns filled the silence.

At what she hoped was the right moment, the girl stabbed savagely at one of the flashing buttons and gestured sharply over the haptic interface.

The groan of straining metal drowned out the warning horns for a moment as the skycar spun 180°, putting it's main propulsion drive towards the geth in an attempt to slow their momentum enough. Just before impact, the girl forced the skycar to power down.

There was an almighty crunching of metal, then a great squeal as the skycar slid across the platform. They were jolted against their harnesses, and abruptly crushed back into their seats before they sagged against the straps.

The vehicle had stopped moving. They hadn't died.

Sounds of battle continued outside, muted and distant. Nagai heard Nihlus groan and begin to fumble for his harness's release. She couldn't even begin to think about moving, much less trying to get out of the skycar; everything ached, her head most of all, it still felt like the vehicle was being shook like a snowglobe, and the sour taste of bile wasn't helping her throat feel any less shredded.

But the straps were digging into her shoulders across a couple of particularly deep bruises, and quickly became more than she could stand, on top of everything else. With leaden hands, she grasped the release catch and fell forward onto the dark dashboard.

Nihlus croaked something that made the translator glitch. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Nice flying.”

“Thanks,” she rasped back with thoughtless snark. “I was winging it.”

The turian made a strange sound somewhere between a hiss and a cough, then groaned again. “Don't make me laugh, it hurts too much!”

 _I didn't think the pun would translate_ , mused the girl dazedly. She closed her eyes against everything for a moment.

Someone pounded on Nihlus' side's door. The arm that knocked was striped with red and white, stark against black armour.

The skycar's doors slid open in fitful starts.

“Nihlus, so help me, I will shoot out your other knee and strap you to the gurney myself,” growled Shepard. “How did you even...” Then she got a look at the girl in the pilot's seat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reviews! Even ones that just say, "Pretty good," because they let me know that there are people who do want to read it!  
> A huge thanks my three betaditors! Even when they're busy with their own lives, they take the time to help me!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I've had a hectic week. I'm afraid this chapter is slightly shorter than the ones before it. But I promise the next one is going to be longer!

To say that Shepard looked angry would have been like saying that Sol was bright.

Which is to say that, even though the Commander was standing on the other side of the skycar and not even using that look on Nagai, the spillover of pure righteous fury made her want to melt and join the dribbles of bile and spit on the floor. As it was, the best the girl could do was slouch as far into the chair as she could, and bring her shoulders up to her ears.

It looked like the Commander wrestled with herself during the pause. Then she leaned almost casually on the door frame of the skycar with one arm and, in a light voice that promised danger – _I really hope that translates_ – she said, “Nihlus. The shuttle would have taken ten minutes to get to you. Why did you coerce the Nagai kid – the injured, underage _civilian_ – to fly you directly into danger?”

“Shepard – ”

“Especially since you can't even _walk_ , never mind participate in subduing hostiles,” Shepard raised her voice, dropping the pleasant tone. “What did you think you could contribute, Nihlus? Were you planning to be a distraction that would hopefully allow my squad to stop this Saren?”

“If you'd just – ”

“Because you would have needed help to even do _that_ ,” The red-striped black helmet leaned in close, and Nagai was transfixed with fear – _stop that, you're not even the one in trouble!_ – and she could tell that Nihlus was at least apprehensive. “Were you even thinking that far ahead? Hm? Or were you just reacting, like some rookie straight out of training? What did you think you could gain, Nihlus?!”

“I _don't know_!” Nihlus roared back; it was a shouting match again. “I don't know what I might have done, what could have happened! My mission is to observe you and secure the beacon, and that hasn't changed with the addition of Saren's presence, but it did make it a whole lot more important!”

“That's a piss-poor excuse to bring a civilian – a _child_ – into danger. It's even less of a reason to get your own damn self killed!”

“You don't know what he's capable of!”

“I know you're not capable of anything right now!”

They seemed to reach a stalemate with that. Shepard stepped back, touching the visor of her helmet with one hand. Nihlus turned his head away from the black-armoured woman, and seemed to catch a glimpse of Nagai's form in the corner of his eye because he continued the turn of his head to look at her.

She didn't know enough about turian micro-expressions and body language to really read his expression, but the way his mandibles hung slightly slack and his facial plates shifted definitely would have given away whatever he was feeling if she had. Perhaps it was her posture that had affected him, sunk as far into the seat cushions as she could; or the dishevelled state of her hair, or the probably-blackening skin around her tender left eye. Maybe it was her overall state, because if she looked as bad as she felt, then she looked pretty bad.

Then she was being helped – _more like lifted bodily_ – out of the pilot's seat by Williams, and Nihlus was being braced – _manhandled_ – by Shepard and Alenko, and somehow they both got out of the skycar without falling over the pieces of Geth platforms strewn across the walkway.

A sudden thought had the girl reeling, and she only stayed upright thanks to the hold Williams had on her arm. “The bombs?” she blurted out.

“How the hell do you know about the charges?” demanded the white-and-pink marine.

“Saw them,” Nagai said, as a litany of curses directed at herself ran through her mind.

“Why do you know what explosives look like?” Williams started walking them after Shepard and Alenko carrying Nihlus, who were headed down the stairs.

“Uh, extranet?” When Williams looked at her, Nagai shrugged her free shoulder. “Stayed up too late. Got lost down the rabbit hole of click-through links. Started as research for a paper.”

The marine hmphed at her. It had the timbre of one who no longer cared rather than one who wasn't convinced, so the girl relaxed. “The el-tee disarmed them,” Williams told her shortly.

Nihlus was struggling to get down the steps, so she was allowed to lean on the railings to get herself down while Williams went to help. She managed to make it down to the lower platform without stumbling once, though she did need to lean heavily on the railing. Geth platforms and husk corpses lay where they'd fallen, but Nagai was careful to keep her eyes on the feet of the soldiers in front of her. She was still shuffling along behind Alenko, who was supporting Nihlus alone now, when she let herself look at it.

The beacon.

It was stranger in person – _no, you stop that right now!_ – glowing all over in eerie green, the light almost pulsing. It was very tall and slender, and she wondered how it had ever been unearthed in one piece. _Though I suppose that's why dad's equipment was needed_. She staggered as vertigo spun her world, but somehow stayed standing.

“ _Normandy_ , the beacon is secure. Request immediate evac,” Shepard was saying.

“This is amazing,” Alenko commented. He and Nihlus were still inching toward the beacon, and the girl followed them warily. “Actual working Prothean technology. Unbelievable!”

“It wasn't doing anything like that when they dug it up,” said Williams, suspicious. “Something must have activated it.”

“Likely has to do with whatever Saren wanted it for,” said Nihlus.

“Roger, _Normandy_. Standing by,” said the Commander. On the edge of her vision, the girl saw Shepard turn to Williams to talk.

Alenko, Nihlus, and the girl had continued approaching the glowing spire. Anticipation grew in her chest, sending adrenaline tingling through her throat and down to her fingers and toes. She knew what would happen again, with dizzying certainty, but it didn't prepare her for the actuality.

One step took Alenko and Nihlus into the beacon's invisible range. Its gentle, eerie glow intensified into blinding arcs of light. The first sudden crackle of energy ratcheted up into an ominous hum. And then Alenko and Nihlus were being dragged toward the beacon.

It seemed to take forever for Shepard to lunge past Nagai, throwing herself at the stricken men. The black-armoured woman tackled Alenko and tossed him back behind the girl. But then she couldn't seem to get a grip on Nihlus. The beacon was drawing them both in.

 _I changed the story_ , was the last full thought the girl formed.

She launched herself at the injured turian, before Williams could switch her attention from helping Alenko. Using her momentum to swing the turian around was simple; Nihlus was already off balance, trying to lean back against the pull of the beacon. Then it was only a matter of flinging him back with a biotic Push. Pain stabbed into both her eyes this time, but Nihlus was thrown beyond even the marines.

“Shepard!” she hear Alenko say from far away.

And Williams. “No! Don't touch them! It's too dangerous!”

The pain filled her mind. In a dream-like moment, where reality seemed malleable, the girl caught Shepard's eyes with her own. “Don't fight it. Just let it come,” She hoped she'd spoken out loud. She tried to will the Commander to understand.

Images began to fill the edges of her sight in flashes. Then they were all she could see, and the only things she could hear or feel. Too many to count, too fast to really comprehend them all. But some stuck: a great city; distorted bodies; an immense structure; a monstrous mechanical being; and one planet among thousands, hidden behind the others.

One thing pervaded them all: a sense of inexorable doom.

She kept trying to follow her own advice and allow the message to flow through her, fighting with her body's inclination to seize up and resist. Right at the edge of her losing the battle, the beacon exploded, and the girl and Shepard dropped like stones. Nagai kept falling, even after she distantly felt the impact of her body on the platform, and the nightmare visions chased her into the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On FFNet, I've had one person comment with confusion, asking questions about the story. What's going on? That's exactly what I want you to be asking! If you're asking that, I'm doing this right.  
> I hope.  
> A huge thank you to everyone who reads, comments, follows, and favourites! And a great big thanks to my betaditors!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a struggle. I'm so glad I'm done with it.

“Doctor?” said Alenko. “Doctor Chakwas? I think she's waking up.”

Shepard found herself staring up at the bulkheads of the _Normandy_ 's infirmary. With a very quiet sigh, she rolled to her side and sat up, head in hand.

The august Major Dr Chakwas came around the end of the cot. “You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you feeling?”

“Minor throbbing. Nothing serious,” said Shepard, rubbing her eyes before lowering her hand. “How long was I out?”

“About fifteen hours,” Dr Chakwas told her. “The girl hasn't woken yet. Something happened down there with the beacon, I think.”

Alenko approached Shepard's cot now. “It was my fault. I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it with Nihlus. You had to push me out of the way, and then...” He gestured at the beds behind Shepard, where the injured turian and human teenager were laid out. “Then the kid got Nihlus out of the way. With a very strong Push.”

“You had no way to know that would happen,” the Commander said, shaking her head slightly.

“Actually, we don't even know if that's what set it off,” said the grey-haired doctor. “Unfortunately, we'll never get the chance to find out.”

“The beacon exploded,” offered Alenko at Shepard's confusion. “A system overload, maybe. The blast knocked you and the kid out cold. Williams and I needed help to carry you and the others back to the ship.”

“I appreciate it,” Shepard gave him a wan smile.

“Nihlus will need extensive reconstructive surgery for his leg,” said the doctor. “And I've been waking him ever hour or so to be sure that his concussion doesn't kill him in his sleep. Humans aren't the only species to find this tactic useful when dealing with head trauma.”

Dr Chakwas brought her omni-tool interface online, calling up data streams. She gestured for Shepard to look as she said, “Physically, you and the girl – Nagai, yes? – are fine, though you escaped most of the bruises she has thanks to your armour. But I detected some unusual brain activity, abnormal beta waves. These”– she highlighted one set of squiggles below the baseline set –“are yours. These ones are Nagai's.”

It was different enough from her own that even Shepard's untrained eyes caught it, which was likely Dr Chakwas' point. That would have been concerning enough without the doctor's frown. But she offered nothing more on Nagai's case.

“I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, signs typically associated with intense dreaming.”

Shepard frowned down at her legs, mulling over what little she could recall. “I saw – I'm not sure what I saw. Death. Destruction. Nothing's really clear.”

“Hmmm. I better add this to my report,” said Chakwas. She didn't seem to notice the sound of the infirmary's door opening. “It may – Oh, Captain Anderson.”

Shepard stood as the Captain approached. He nodded slightly, saying, “How's our XO holding up, doctor?”

“All the readings look normal,” The doctor gestured at the panel beside the nearest bed. “I'd say the Commander's going to be fine.”

“Glad to hear it,” said Anderson. “Shepard, I need to speak with you – in private.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” said Alenko, saluting. “I'll be in the mess if you need me.”

Anderson examined Shepard silently as he waited for the lieutenant and Dr Chakwas to leave. Then he glanced over at Nihlus and the girl, lying on the cots. “Sounds like the beacon hit you pretty hard, Commander,” He turned back to Shepard. “You sure you're okay?”

Shepard took a slow, deep breath.

 

* * *

The girl became aware slowly, in the way that certain aquatic predators on Earth might surface so as to leave the barest of ripples, though with less intent. She was in a somewhat dim room, on a cot surrounded by lights and machines and monitors.

A deep, resonant voice was talking, coloured by concern. The second voice was higher, but no less serious. Both were familiar. Very familiar. In fact, she felt certain that, had this been a play, she could once have acted both parts without missing a single line. She dared not move, for fear of interrupting.

“I don't like soldiers dying under my command,” said the higher voice, quavering ever so slightly.

The deep voice was gentle. “Jenkins wasn't your fault. You did a good job, Shepard.”

During a tense pause, the girl thought, _Shepard? That means the other one is Admiral Anderson_.

“You said you needed to see me in private, Captain?” _Oh, he's not an Admiral yet_.

“I won't lie to you, Shepard,” said Captain Anderson quietly. “Things look bad. Nihlus is out of commission. The beacon was destroyed, and geth are invading. The Council's going to want answers.”

“The geth would have wiped out the whole colony if...”

For a moment, the girl's awareness faded. It couldn't have been for longer than a couple minutes, though, because Commander Shepard and Captain Anderson were still talking when she could focus again.

“Did you see anything?” the Captain asked. “Any clue that might tell us what Saren was after?”

A pause. Then, reluctantly, “Just before I lost consciousness, I had some kind of vision.”

When the Commander didn't continue, Anderson prompted her. “A vision? A vision of what?”

“I saw synthetics,” Shepard told him. She sounded uncertain and uncomfortable. “Geth, maybe. Slaughtering people. Butchering them.”

“They sweep through the galaxy like a tsunami, implacable and unfeeling,” the girl mused to herself. Sleep was trying to pull her under again, so she didn't realise she'd spoken out loud.

Until Captain Anderson turned around to loom over her cot and said, “What?”

Shepard came around to stare at her, too.

Nagai wilted under the sudden inspection, mouth shut and eyes widened fearfully.

Anderson and Shepard shared a short glance. Then the Captain leaned back against the empty cot, hands braced against it easily, and the Commander let her expression relax and stuck her thumbs in her pockets.

“Sorry, Miss – we never got your first name,” said Shepard, tilting her head and smiling slightly.

“It's... Elyse,” squeaked the girl. The room spun for a second, then settled. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Elyse Nagai.”

“Well, Miss Nagai, could you repeat what you said before?”

“I didn't realise I was speaking out loud,” said Elyse, shrinking in on herself. “I'm sorry.”

Shepard smiled and shook her head. “Don't worry,” she said. “But I'd really like to know what you meant.”

“The vision. You saw it, too,” Elyse tried to say more, but the words stuck in her throat. _No, I can't, I can't change the story more!_ The room seemed to lurch, but neither Shepard nor Anderson noticed. Elyse closed her eyes again, but the feeling didn't abate.

“Yes, I saw it, too. It sounds like you understood it better, though.”

An idea came to her. Everything stopped shifting. “Maybe?” Elyse said. When the room stayed still, she opened her eyes. “There was so much chaos, so many people dying. A war. Long and always losing. Hopeless.” She saw Shepard nodding, her brows knit together and eyes unfocused, and Anderson watching closely. “Giants looked down and crushed them. A great city in the clouds was in danger – or dangerous? And there was one planet, over and over again, but... I can't – can't – ” Her voice cracked, and everything was spinning again. Elyse turned on her side, away from the Captain and Commander, coughing and gagging. Nothing came up, but only because there was nothing in her.

Shepard had stepped up beside her and hesitantly started to rub her back. Anderson moved out of the way, to stand at the foot of the bed. On the periphery of her vision, Elyse saw him glance at Nihlus, who was stirring, then to Shepard.

“We need to report this to the Council, Shepard.”

The Commander snorted. “What are we going to tell them? We had bad dreams?”

“We don't know what information was stored in that beacon,” said the Captain. As he and Shepard talked more, Elyse turned introspective.

The dizziness was debilitating, especially when paired with the headache she'd had back on Eden Prime. While the headache had passed, the dizziness came and went. It seemed to come on when she tried to remember things, but why?

“I'll find some way to take him down,” Shepard said, decisively.

“It's not that easy,” countered Anderson.

There was something strange about her memories. Even simply recalling her own name – _ah, yes, there it is again_. Elyse closed her eyes tightly against the lurching sensation.

Her name. It felt both right and... not right. She could only remember snatches of conversations where people called her something else, but she couldn't focus enough to recall it clearly. Re-something...

When the next wave of vertigo subsided, the Captain and Commander had both left the infirmary. And Elyse was beginning to hurt everywhere, particularly her shoulders and chest.

The infirmary doors opened, and Dr Chakwas entered with another person.

“Perhaps you should stop antagonising your lieutenant,” she was telling him. “if you don't want to endure so many punishments.”

“It's not like I set out to do it,” the young man protested.

“Yet it continues to happen.”

“I'm supposed to just let him endanger other soldiers with his idiot ideas, then?”

“You're at least supposed to be tactful about it,” Dr Chakwas chastised. “Although I suppose there are times even tact doesn't get one very far.” Then the stately doctor turned to Elyse, who was watching the man. “Hello, Miss Nagai, I am Doctor Chakwas, and you are aboard the frigate _Normandy_. How are you feeling? I heard from the Commander that you've had something of an ordeal.”

“I didn't hurt when I woke up,” Elyse replied, glancing at the older woman and then back at the man by the door. “but I'm starting to hurt a lot.”

“That's understandable when one is involved in explosions and buildings collapsing,” Dr Chakwas brought up her omni-tool and linked it to one of the machines by Elyse's bed. “I was told you also crashed a skycar on a squad of geth?”

“Only halfway on purpose...” The girl tugged the thin blanket up to her chin, and tried to watch the man from the corner of her eye without seeming to.

“If you're that curious, you could just ask who he is, dear.”

Elyse blushed and dropped her eyes to her hands, embarrassed by Chakwas' wry tone as much as by being caught. “Sorry.”

“It's quite alright,” said Dr Chakwas. She gestured at the man, and he pushed himself off the wall and straightened up.

“I'm Gunnery Chief Ethan Grey,” said the young man, smiling briefly. “This is a military vessel, so I'm to be your guard.”

“Ah. I'm your punishment,” Elyse slapped a hand over her own mouth. She started to apologise, but the doctor chuckled, and Chief Grey's smile turned rueful.

“Yes, you are,” he said. “But what's this about crashing skycars? How do you crash a skycar 'halfway on purpose?'”

“Well,” said the girl. “I lost control of it because I had some sort of attack.”

“A seizure?” Chakwas seemed intent on the data streaming across her omni-tool's interface.

“I don't think so. Just horrible dizziness, like vertigo, but for no reason.”

“Hmm. Has this happened before, or was it just the one attack?”

“No, the first time it happened was after they got me out of the rubble of the train station.”

The doctor entered something on her omni-tool. “Does your family have a history of seizures? Or any hereditary illnesses?”

Elyse began to reply, but gasped and closed her eyes before she could finish the first word. She let herself go limp, too tired to fight the spinning.

A hand was placed gently against her forehead, and the orange glow of the doctor's omni-tool shone through her eyelids. She could hear Dr Chakwas saying something, but her ears were full of ringing, and she could only make out half the words.

“Just wait,” the girl said through gritted teeth. “Let me breathe.”

It took less time to pass after Elyse decided to try to relax and focus on her breathing. She opened her eyes to Chakwas' shrewd stormy grey gaze.

“What brought that on?” asked the doctor.

“Trying to remember my family medical history,” said Elyse. She felt like she'd just tried to run a marathon. “It seems to come whenever I try to recall anything. It was worse when I had a migraine from using a Barrier and getting part of a building dropped on me.”

Chakwas was silent for a while, glancing from the girl to the notes on her omni-tool. Elyse let herself close her eyes.

“It sounds like it could be temporal lobe epilepsy1,” said Dr Chakwas finally. “But it is also different enough that it might not be. How old are you, Miss Nagai? And what implant version do you have?”

“I'm nineteen, and I have an L4 implant” Elyse replied. At the doctor's inquiringly raised eyebrow, she scowled and went on, “I'm a late bloomer. And the Ascension Project doesn't just take kids from those four big accidents2.”

This time, she was ready for the room to spin. The girl pressed her hands to her eyes.

“Are you allergic to any medications?” she heard Dr Chakwas ask her through the cotton in her ears.

“No,” she said, and groaned as the room spun more.

Firm hands pulled her own away from her face. The prick of a needle in the flesh of the crook of her elbow preceded the easing of the nausea, if not the dizziness. After a couple counts of ten, Elyse opened her eyes again.

“That should hold you for at least four hours,” Dr Chakwas told her. “Are you currently using an amp with a VI interface?” Elyse nodded. “Could you give me access to it? There might be some clue about your condition in the data it's collected.”

The girl automatically began to reach for her left wrist, only to realise it was bare. She became aware, suddenly, that she wasn't even in her own clothes, but dressed instead in a thin, crisp hospital gown.

“Uh. May I have my omni-tool?” she asked, her ears burning as she yanked the thin blanket up over her shoulders again.

Dr Chakwas went to her desk and came back with the familiar-unfamiliar black band in hand. Elyse dipped her head in thanks and took it from her, sliding it into place over the subdermal implants on her wrist. With the weight of the device on her arm, she felt much less naked.

She called up the orange interface with a swipe and hesitated, waiting for the room to spin. When it didn't, she glanced up at the doctor.

“Anti-epilepsy medication, and an antinauseant,” said Chakwas, watching Elyse keenly. “The latter will wear off in four hours or so, but I had not expected the former to work.”

The girl nodded, eyebrows drawing together. She brought up the VI, and smiled when the holographic figure of a sleek cat took shape and blinked at her. “Please send Dr Chakwas my implant data.”

The orange cat appeared to glance over at the bemused doctor, whose own omni-tool then chimed with an almost feline meow. Elyse tapped a button on the haptic interface, and the orange glow disappeared.

Dr Chakwas was already engrossed in the information on her 'tool's screen. “It appears that there was an event,” she said, “sometime during the day you were brought aboard, possibly coinciding with your head trauma. Your brain waves spike, and continue to do so frequently. However, I am not an expert in implant technology, nor in how normal human biotics' brains function,” The doctor looked up into Elyse's eyes. “I will be requesting permission to contact an acquaintance who has more experience in this, and to reach out to the head of the Ascension Project about your situation.

“In the meantime,” Chakwas gestured at the door, and Chief Grey. “I believe you should have something to eat. And the opportunity to get dressed.”

Between the doctor and the Chief, Elyse managed to get off the cot without falling or exposing herself. She found that she was ravenously hungry, but decided that getting dressed was the higher priority. There was also one other thing.

“Um. Is there a bathroom I could use?”

Cheif Grey nodded. “I can take you to the crew's women's bathroom. You can have a little more privacy to get dressed there, too.”

Dr Chakwas handed her a neatly folded bundle of clothes – _not my clothes. I hope these fit_ – and Grey opened the door. He walked just behind and to her right, giving directions with a word or gesture.

“I'll show you back to the mess when you're ready,” he told her, opening the bathroom's door.

 _This was never in the games_ , thought Elyse. The hallway tilted ever so slightly, or perhaps her head did, and she braced herself with one hand against the door as she shuffled in.

It was similar to a public bathroom, but without stalls dividing the space, much like what she seemed to recall from the future SR-2. She had to lean against the wall for a moment to let the dizziness pass, although it was a lot less severe than it had been.

Elyse used the toilet, then removed the hospital gown to begin dressing. And stopped, shocked. A wave of disorientation forced her to sit down, but she continued to examine herself.

All the bones in her body seemed to protrude, starkly visible beneath her skin. The muscles of her legs and abdomen were also very obvious, though they were in no way developed very much.

Part of her was not surprised by this. This part had spent years seeing this body in the mirror and calling it her own. But another part of her – the same part that was shocked by biotics, and turians, and geth – was rattled. The other part was used to a much softer, rounder form, and fighting to keep weight off instead of on.

Filled with curiosity and apprehension, Elyse got shakily to her feet and stumbled over to the sink and mirror.

The face that looked back at her was, again, at once right and not right.

Dark, almost black hair curled around her face and down to her shoulders. The soft oval of her face was offset by the sharpness of her cheekbones and chin. About the only thing that felt completely right was the colour of her eyes. _Like sunflowers in a field, yellow petals around the pupils and ringed with green_.

Something died inside her. The part of her that remembered being born in the 1990s had been hoping, praying this was a dream.

Just to be sure, she brought up her 'tool's interface and checked the time.

 _I can focus on the numbers_ , Elyse thought, shoulders sagging. _And they seem to be increasing properly._ She looked into the mirror again, and blinked exaggeratedly, opening her eyes as wide as she could each time. _I can open my eyes properly, too. Damn!_

Things were starting to come together; all the strangeness of her memories, the problems with remembering, the right-but-not feeling, and especially the foreknowledge.

 _It can't be possible_ , she told herself. _But part of me believes this world, this_ reality _is a game. And I'm here, so it can't be_ im _possible._

Elyse glanced over herself in the mirror, noting the thin neck and prominent clavicle. She touched the hollow of her throat, then ran her hand up the back of her neck to brush her fingers against the warm metal of the implant port and amp in the base of her skull.

“I am so screwed.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹ Temporal Lobe Epilepsy is a real syndrome, one that has very similar symptoms to what I describe as happening to Elyse. The biggest difference is that TLE seizures don't tend to be dizziness, and the "auras" or "warning signs" can also be sudden intense mixtures of emotions, thoughts, and memories, a sense of strangeness in something supposed to be familiar, and even hallucinations across the senses.  
> ² The four "accidents" are described in the wiki, and also alluded to in the novel, Mass Effect: Ascension. They were actually caused by Cerberus operative Paul Grayson.  
> Thank you, everyone who's read and especially everyone who's reviewed!  
> A huge thanks, once again, to my betaditors! Thank you for coming on this journey with me!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so grateful for everyone who's read, followed, or commented on my story! This is nearing the most I've ever written. My personal best (from a few years ago now) was 47 pages, single-spaced (and I can't find that story right now, though I'm not giving up the search). This story is currently 23 pages in my word processing program! I haven't written this much or this consistently in a very long time, if ever. Thank you all for coming on this journey with me.

Elyse's thoughts raced erratically as she stared at her reflection, tracing her implant.

 _I was born on February 3 rd in 2164. _The room seemed to list to one side, and the girl watched the face in the mirror as she grimaced. _But also on January 27 th in 1991. How can I remember living for twenty-five years over a hundred fifty years ago? How is it possible that I'm now nineteen in a video game reality, and a “biotic” no less?_

She gripped the sink as the listing became lurching. Only her reflection's eyes seemed to remain still, so she focused on them while she waited for the attack to finish. It didn't take as long as it had when she'd tried to remember her other name, but still longer than the minor ones she'd had since the doctor had given her the medications.

When stability returned, she took a deep breath and glanced over her reflection again. _I'm here now. If I accept that this isn't a dream,_ she thought, considering her reflection's wiry frame, _and also that these memories I have of this reality being a game are at least a little bit true, then I need to get away from the_ Normandy _. I can't keep changing the story, or Shepard may not be able to stop the Reapers._

But how could Elyse just flee, knowing what she knew? Wouldn't it better to stay and _try_ to change things, save more people if she could?

If she did that, though, her foreknowledge could become exponentially more useless over time. And that wasn't even considering the fact that she was a kid, a civilian, and very unlikely to be taken seriously in anything. Especially since everyone she met would likely judge her as distraught by grief with the loss of her parents, and unhinged by that if she tried to warn anyone about what was coming.

She slammed a fist down on the edge of the sink, but only a dull pain reached her.

 _I'm dissociating again_. Everything felt unnatural. Elyse could recognise it, now, and could also see that she'd been in and out of this state for the better part of her waking hours, ever since...

Ever since her parents were shot down. Just beyond her reach.

 _And I can't even cry_. For a moment, it felt like time had stopped, and her lungs refused to pull in air. _They're gone, but it's not real to me yet. Stupid brain!_

She shivered, suddenly chilled, and the moment passed. The disconnect remained, though, keeping Elyse numb. She turned from the mirror and the dry, empty eyes in it, and grabbed the clothing Dr Chakwas had provided.

The bundle only contained a pair of pants and a long-sleeved shirt, not unlike the dark blue fatigues Grey wore. They were very loose, meant for someone with a body that didn't have biotics devouring their energy stores. Elyse ended up rolling the sleeves and pant legs up a couple times so they wouldn't get in the way. It was better than the hospital gown, though most anything would have been.

She opened the bathroom door, discarded gown in hand. When Grey turned to look, he tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smirk.

“I guess there wasn't a spare in your size,” he said once he'd schooled his features. “The mess is back this way,” he said, also indicating with the open hand that she should go first.

Elyse walked with the Chief back the way they'd taken to the crew's quarters somewhat eagerly; the numbness did nothing to dull the pain of her stomach trying to eat her spine, it seemed.

When they rounded the final corner, they found Alenko and Williams sitting at the mess table, conversing. Both marines stood to greet Elyse.

“I'm glad you're up and walking,” the lieutenant told her. “It was a relief that Dr Chakwas found no broken bones, since you didn't have armour to protect you like we did.”

“Thank you,” Elyse managed to say. The detachment seemed to be keeping the overwhelming feelings of awe and anxiety at bay, at least.

“Any preference for what to eat?” Grey asked her. He opened a compartment set in the wall behind the table. Neatly packed inside were several different kinds of freeze-dried meals, awaiting heating and re-hydration. “I'm partial to the chili myself, but I'm not sure how the biotic-specific meals compare.”

“Oh, I prefer the beef stew,” said Alenko, pointing out a set of packets. “But only with a lot of hot sauce in it.”

The girl nodded at that and took one of the packets Alenko had indicated.

With Alenko's help, Elyse managed to warm up and reconstitute the beef stew using the devices built into the walls around the table, and produced a large spoon from a drawer with a simple lever lock that appeared to be only for cutlery. Williams seemed to watch like a hawk, no doubt taking note for later use. The lieutenant even retrieved a bottle of hot sauce out of a compartment higher up.

The metal spoon zapped the girl's hand when she tried to pick it up. Alenko winced in sympathy. “Sorry, I should have warned you to watch out for the cutlery,” he said.

“'S'okay, I should have remembered,” Elyse replied, belated recalling that biotics experienced a lot more static shocks than normal people, due to their implants.

The marines went back to their conversations as Elyse appraised the dubious meal.

 _I couldn't eat spicy stuff a hundred fifty years ago_ , thought the girl, grateful to be sitting down as she thought this when the dizzy spell hit, _but I recall no such restriction from this life_. She tipped the bottle carefully anyways, adding three measured dollops to the stew. After one bite, she agreed that Alenko was right to only eat it with hot sauce, and added another generous dash.

She was just scraping the bottom of the container when Commander Shepard came around the corner. The Commander appeared to be headed for the infirmary, but changed direction to head their way upon spotting their little cluster at the mess table. Grey, Alenko, and Williams all made to stand, but she waved them down.

“Great, you're up,” said Shepard, sitting down across from Elyse. “How are you feeling now?”

“Better,” squeaked the girl. She put the spoon down beside the container and stuck her hands under her legs, trying to forestall any fidgeting.

Shepard gave a quick smile. “Good. Now, we've just docked with the Citadel, and Ambassador Udina is arranging a meeting with the Council concerning what happened on Eden Prime,” she swiped open her omni-tool, her right hand poised to type. “I need to debrief you on what happened down there, starting with when you first saw Spectre Kryik.”

“Uh,” Elyse swallowed, glancing around at the others as she gathered her thoughts. “I was behind the crates with – with the dock worker. There was a – a robot I'd never seen before that was about to shoot us,” She paused, thinking, _I need to be more careful about revealing what I know!_ “It was shot from behind and fell across the crates. The worker – Powell? – tried to get me to hide further back, but then I heard voices.” _How do I explain why I went back? I can't say that I recognised them!_

“Whose voices did you hear?” asked Shepard when Elyse's hesitation dragged on.

“They were turian voices,” hedged the girl. “and there weren't any turians at the colony. I don't know why I thought looking would be a good idea, but I went back to peek through the gap between the crates. I saw a dark-coloured turian with white face markings,” she gestured towards the infirmary, where the man in question still lay, “and another turian man, a pale one who had an arm like the robot's. He didn't have any face markings.”

“Okay,” said Shepard, typing rapidly. “What did they say?”

Elyse bit her lip, and began nudging the spoon so it was perpendicular to the edge of the table. “They called each other by name, the pale one was Saren and the dark-coloured one was Nihlus. Nihlus asked Saren why he was here. He told Nihlus that the Council sent him, and Nihlus looked at the robot on the crates near me and said something about not expecting geth?” She let her face scrunch up as if focusing on the memory, as she tried to pick her words carefully. “Then I saw a gun pointed at the back of Nihlus' head, and I couldn't watch him die so I projected a Barrier to try to stop the bullet.”

Alenko winced again as she mentioned the Barrier. “I've never heard of such a young human biotic being able to project a Barrier that far from their body.”

“The Ascension Project is trying to help us get more control over our abilities,” said Elyse, closing her eyes as the table seemed to tilt ever so slightly. “But it gave me a migraine when it stopped the shot, and I had to drop it. Then Nihlus and Saren fought, and I tried to help, but when I used the Barrier again, Saren detonated it with a Warp,” She opened her eyes to look sheepishly at Shepard. “That's when you all came and pulled us out of the rubble.”

“It was still very dangerous for you to jump in like that,” Shepard scolded again gently. “But we're glad you saved Nihlus.”

Elyse dipped her chin and stared at the empty stew container. It wasn't hard to pretend she was steeling herself for what she said next. “Were those really geth?” She looked back up at Shepard, then around the table, as if searching for answers. Her voice was quavering and small as she continued. “Where was the Alliance? I thought – everybody thought they'd keep us safe.”

Williams immediately looked down and away. “We were there. We fought back,” Her voice shook, too. “We failed.”

Elyse returned her gaze to her bowl, hating herself a little. But she knew that if she hadn't gained these strange memories, she would have asked. She couldn't keep changing the story, even by acting weird; she had to play the part.

“It is _not_ your fault, Ashley,” said Shepard. Everyone looked at her, and the Commander returned their stares fiercely. “The deaths of the Alliance personnel and the civilians on Eden Prime are on Saren's head. Any failure in this is on his part. He's supposed to be a Spectre. A protector. We're going to be sure he answers for this.

“Part of doing that is getting as complete a picture of what happened as we can,” Shepard turned back to the girl. “Please continue, as clearly as you can recall.”

“Well,” Elyse looked down at the stew container again, unable to meet anyone's eyes. “After you left on the cargo train, Nihlus started getting agitated. Powell and the farmers wanted to find other survivors and hide. They couldn't convince Nihlus to come with them, and then I opened my big fat mouth and said I had a skycar.” Everyone winced in unison, and the girl spoke faster, trying to explain. “They were all so upset! The farmers were already anxious about getting to safety; Nihlus refused to calm down or sit; I didn't know what to do to keep it from getting worse! And then I remembered dad's skycar was nearby and I just blurted it out like an idiot! I'm sorry!”

“Whoa, slow down,” Alenko tried to interject soothingly. “We're not upset with you – ”

“And then none of the farmers had experience or a pilot's license,” she bulled ahead, unable to stop the flow of words. “but my dad had been teaching me to fly it to keep my mind off school, and when Nihlus tried to get in the pilot's seat I panicked – ”

“It's okay,” said Shepard, reaching across the table to take the girl's hand. Elyse raised her head to meet the Commander's gaze. “You're not in trouble. Yes, you made some choices that put you in danger, and that was probably a bad idea. But you shouldn't have been in a place to need to make those decisions in the first place,” Shepard gave her hand a gentle squeeze before she released it. “And all things considered, you didn't do a terrible job. In fact, you did a pretty _good_ job controlling your crash landing on those geth.”

“Yeah, I can't wait to tell Joker about that,” said Alenko. He pantomimed the skycar's descent and impact with his hands. “He's gonna be mad he missed it!”

The Commander smiled. “I was definitely not expecting help from above. You made quite a re-entry on the scene, you know?” She brought her omni-tool back up. “And then at the spaceport, when I couldn't get Nihlus out of the beacon's grasp, you jumped in to help. Are you always so impulsive in dangerous situations?”

“I've never even gotten detention in school,” said Elyse, running a hand over her face. “I don't know what I was thinking – I don't even know if I _was_ thinking. I just moved.”

“What about the moment right before the vision started?” asked Shepard, pinning the girl with a penetrating stare. “You told me not to fight it, to let it come. Did you mean the vision?”

“I-I just – ” _I can't just say “Yes” and expect this to be dropped, but I can't say nothing now, either._ Elyse held very still, eyes downcast and trying not to look guilty. She was pretty sure she was failing.

“Did you know what was going to happen?” Shepard pressed.

“It sounds stupid,” the girl mumbled.

“Try me.”

Elyse took a deep, slow breath and looked back up at the Commander. _Here goes nothing._ “I get... feelings. Like gut feelings. Or intuition I guess, since it's my head, not my gut,” She looked down at her legs, trying to appear embarrassed and afraid of their disbelief, which also wasn't hard. “They're not frequent, or even always right, and I've never told anyone but my mum about them. Who would believe me? But I had a feeling about the beacon when I saw it on the space dock, and I was afraid.”

There was silence for a moment. Elyse wished she could melt into the floor. _But it's better than telling them the whole truth. And I didn't lie outright, I just presented the information in a less unbelievable way._ It wasn't helping her feel like any less of a backwater idiot, though.

“You mean like prescience?” asked Alenko, breaking the awkward silence. “I've heard of it happening.”

“What, you believe in the Tooth Fairy, too, Lt?” Chief Grey smirked. Williams snorted derisively at that.

“I told you it sounds stupid,” said Elyse. She looked up at Shepard, and found her hesitating with her hand poised above her 'tool. “Please don't put this in your report. No one will believe it, and everyone will think I'm crazy.” The girl pointed at Grey. “He already proved that.”

“Hey, I don't think you're crazy,” said Chief Grey, raising his hands defensively. “A little superstitious, sure, but not crazy.”

Shepard glanced between her 'tool and them all once, before letting out a breath and nodding. “Alright, I'll leave it out. But,” She entered something on the device before closing it. “I'm going to inform Captain Anderson about this. He's in charge; he needs to know.”

“Yes'm,” Elyse mumbled, eyes on her lap again.

“In any case,” said Shepard, standing up. “are you feeling up to stepping out? As soon as I check on Nihlus and be sure he's ready for travel, we're headed to the Citadel to meet with the Council, and I think you should come with us.”

It was cliché, but Elyse found herself gulping involuntarily. “I think I'm up to that.”

“Great. I'll go see how Nihlus is doing,” The Commander glanced at Alenko and Williams. “You two are coming, too. Meet me at the air lock.”

The chorus of “Yes, ma'am!” followed Shepard to the infirmary's door.

Chief Grey took the bowl and spoon from in front of Elyse as she, Alenko, and Williams stood.

“Right,” said the lieutenant to the girl. “Did you need anything more before we head out?”

Elyse shook her head, feeling queasy, but not from an attack. _Out of the frying pan_. She was not looking forward to the Council meeting, but she did need to get away from the _Normandy_. None of this was going to be easy, so it was best to get it over with fast.

They trouped up the stairs together, passing crew who were on the second round for shore leave and empty seats where those who had the first one had already left. The pilot's seat was conspicuously empty.

Shepard arrived not five minutes later, ahead of a gurney guided by Dr Chakwas.

“Hey,” came a flanging voice. “You're up!”

Elyse smiled wanly at Nihlus. “So are you, almost.”

“I'll be walking around in no time,” he said, waving one hand negligently.

“We're to meet the Ambassador in his office on the Presidium,” said the Commander. “Captain Anderson has gone ahead. Dr Chakwas is going to be taking Nihlus to a hospital right after we meet with the Council. And the human embassy will take care of finding out the best way to move forward for you, Miss Nagai.”

Gunnery-Chief Grey saluted Shepard as the air lock door opened. “I won't be accompanying you, ma'am,” he said. “I'm to hand my duty to Chief Williams and remain aboard.”

“Thank you, Chief Grey,” said Shepard, returning the salute.

They entered the air lock together, arranged carefully to fit everyone comfortably. Just as the automated pleasant female voice announced their exit was logged and the door began to open, a strident beeping filled the air. It was coming from the gurney and Dr Chakwas' omni-tool, which had surrounded her arm in the orange interface seemingly without her prompting.

“Oh dear,” said the doctor, with a glance at the message. She started to rapidly tap out commands on the haptic keys. “I'm afraid Mr Kryik will not be joining you for the meeting, Commander. He needs to get to the hospital right away.”

“What!” Shepard and Nihlus exclaimed at once.

Nihlus tried to continue. “I feel f- ”

“You are not 'fine,'” snapped Chakwas, waving to some of the people – _C-Sec maybe?_ – and trying to navigate the narrow walkways faster. “A large blood clot has just broken off in one of the major veins in your leg and is travelling towards your thorax. I can't give you anti-coagulants with your injury, and I don't have the proper medication or tools with me to target it specifically. If we don't treat it quickly, you will either suffer horribly and possibly lose function of body parts, or die painfully,” She was jogging now, having left the walkways behind, and everyone was keeping up.

“My testimony is mandatory!” Nihlus protested.

“His report is incomplete!” added Shepard.

“Unless you wish to _die_ and be of _no help at all_ ,” drawled Chakwas somewhat acerbically. “I suggest you keep still and tell me if you feel any changes on our way to the _hospital_.”

They'd reached what appeared to be a sort of parking area, and an obnoxiously yellow modified skycar was landing in an open space immediately ahead of them. Doors on the rear of the vehicle opened and two people in similarly vibrant uniforms jumped out to assist the doctor in getting Nihlus aboard.

Just before closing those doors herself, Chakwas told Shepard, “I'm sorry, Commander, but if you can't delay the meeting, you will need to do without Mr Kryik until we can be sure he's in significantly less danger.”

The doors closed with a _bam_ and a _click_ , and the ambulance-skycar took off, leaving the four of them behind.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another huge thanks to my betaditors, who keep me going on a combination of praise and threat of pain.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! As a long-time reader and not-so-public writer (I rarely upload my work, and even more rarely write longer than 1,000 words), I totally understand the unbearable waiting for new chapters. Now, coming at it from the other side, I'm starting to see why that happens. I hope this long chapter sates your appetites for a little while!

For a second, Elyse thought the Commander looked worried.

 _And why wouldn't she be?_ The girl felt her heart clench. Nihlus could be in real trouble. Large blood clots inside the blood vessels could stop blood flow to a limb or an organ and cause tissue death, which could lead to necrosis and all sorts of other threats, including death. If a clot made its way to the brain, he could suffer serious brain damage, if he didn't just die outright. She wished she knew how efficiently the current technology could deal with blood clots, and hoped it was better than the little she remembered from her father's work.

The platforms spun, and she would have fallen if Alenko hadn't caught her elbow. _Maybe I should be sitting down when I try to remember xenobiology lessons from a couple years ago in the same thought stream as twenty-first century dad's job in medical equipment fabrication_ , Elyse thought with chagrin. She nodded in thanks to the lieutenant as she regained her balance, and wondered how long the anti-epilepsy medication would last, and if it was helping at all anymore.

When the girl glanced at Shepard again, the worry was gone, replaced by a scowl that the woman seemed to be trying to wrestle into blankness.

"We'd best get going," said the Commander once she'd achieved a mildly frustrated look. "Appointments to meet with the human Ambassador and the Council shouldn't be missed."

The skycar ride was almost more nerve-wracking with Shepard in the pilot's seat than it had been when Elyse flew with Nihlus. The girl noticed that both marines gripped their seats just as tightly as she did. None of them were about to mention it to the Commander, though.

It didn't help Shepard's mood that the first thing Ambassador Udina said upon their arrival was, "What took you so long? I see you brought half your crew with you, but where the hell is Spectre Kryik?"

Elyse watched in morbid fascination as the Commander clenched her jaw but managed to keep an otherwise blank expression. She saluted Captain Anderson after stepping into the office, then stood rigidly at attention. Alenko and Williams followed suit, while the girl stood just behind them and tried to take up the least amount of space possible.

"Spectre Kryik has been taken to the hospital ahead of schedule due to a change for the worse in his condition," said Shepard, staring into the middle distance between the irate Ambassador and the Captain. "He won't be present for the meeting with the Council. His report is unfinished. Nihlus told me that he was having trouble writing it, because the concussion had affected his concentration and was impairing his ability to write coherently. He warned me that what he has written may be nearly worthless."

The differences between Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina's reactions were almost funny to the small part of Elyse that was still detached. Where Anderson's expression turned stony and grim, Udina yelled, "What!" and began to turn an interesting shade of puce.

Things like "What do you mean, he won't be present!" and "How could he have not finished his report!" and "Doesn't he recognise how serious this is!" were delivered with wild gesticulation as the Ambassador paced around the room. The girl wondered if Udina knew how inane his ranting sounded.

She glaned over at Alenko and Williams. The lieutenant appeared worried and confused; the gunnery-chief seemed stunned and approaching incensed. Elyse couldn't tell from where she stood if Shepard had let her expression change, but the woman's posture remained stiff and tense.

Finally, Udina's thoughts seemed to catch up with his outrage. "The Council has refused to take action or discuss the C-Sec investigation before the hearing. Without Spectre Kryik's testimony or report, I don't see them taking us seriously. Saren's their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason."

"Saren's a threat to every human colony out there. He needs to be stopped," said Shepard passionately.

"Settle down, Commander," Udina sneered. "You've already done more than enough to jeopardise your candidacy for the Spectres. The mission on Eden Prime was a chance to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus has ended up in the hospital and the beacon was destroyed!"

"That's Saren's fault, not hers!" argued Anderson.

"Then we better hope the C-Sec investigation turns up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise the Council may use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres," The Ambassador groused. He glanced over Shepard, then Alenko and Williams, then Elyse. And froze for a second. "Who is _this_?" he demanded.

The girl felt like a rabbit caught in headlights. She gripped the hem of her borrowed shirt in bloodless fingers, unable to find her voice.

"Elyse Nagai, one of the witnesses who saw Saren," said Shepard coldly, drawing the Ambassador's gaze to hers.

Alenko and Williams moved surreptitiously to shield the girl further as Captain Anderson added, "She didn't just see Saren, she stopped him from killing Nihlus."

"I read the reports, Captain. Isn't this slip of a girl also the reason Spectre Kryik is in the hospital?" said Udina venomously.

"Aren't you supposed to be a politician?" returned Elyse before anyone else could respond.

"What?" growled the Ambassador, turning back to look at the girl, who was shouldering past the two marines.

"I asked if you're supposed to be a politician," the girl repeated, unable to stop herself. "Because you act like a child throwing a tantrum. I would have thought humanity's representative to the galaxy would be a Machiavellian puppet master," She eyed the man from head to toe and back, lip curled. "I am not impressed."

The Ambassador had begun to turn purple. "What would a _child_ know of galactic politics? How dare you!" he all but yelled.

"As little as I may know, even I, at nineteen, am aware of how diplomacy works, the skills for which you seem to either lack or spurn," spat Elyse. "How did you ever get this job?" And she turned on her heel and stomped out of the room without a backward glance, the Ambassador's furious shouts made incoherent by the rushing sound in her ears. The plant bed-lined walkway was mercifully empty.

 _How did I do that?_ wondered Elyse, pacing in a circle just outside the office. Her heart pounded in her throat, and the white noise muffling her hearing took on a rhythmic beat in time with it. _Twenty-first century me couldn't have spoken up in there to save her life. Twenty-second century me couldn't have found those words. What's happened to me?_ She stopped walking and looked at her hands. Familiar-and-not. _Who am I?_

"And that's why I hate politicians," said Williams, and Elyse started. She'd been so wrapped up with her introspection that she hadn't noticed the woman follow her out the door. "It was something else to watch a kid my sister's age rip him a new one."

"You have a younger sister?" asked Elyse, vaguely recalling that Williams came from a large family.

"I have three younger sisters," The woman smirked a bit. "You remind me a little of my youngest sister, Sarah."

"Oh yeah? How's that?"

"For one," Williams' smirk grew into a toothy grin. "you both have problems with authority."

Elyse put a hand to her chest and a hurt expression on her face. "Whatever makes you say that?" She smiled when the marine started to chuckle.

The Ambassador's door opened behind them, and Shepard and Alenko stepped out. Elyse turned away to hide the smile while she schooled her features into blandness. Commander Shepard looked a little flushed, and Elyse couldn't tell if it was anger or something else.

"We have a little time before the meeting with the Council," the woman announced. "but with the Ambassador in his current state," she quirked an eyebrow at the girl, who lifted her chin defiantly. "we should probably hold off on trying to deal with your... situation for now."

 _My 'situation'?_ For a second, Elyse didn't quite understand what the Commander was talking about. Alenko and Williams' sudden reluctance to look at her brought it home.

The excitement at being on the Citadel, the adrenaline from confronting Udina, the small happiness at connecting with Ash- with Williams, everything froze into a hard lump and took up residence in her chest. _How could I forget? How could I let myself forget that they're gone? I'm an orphan. I'm alone._

Elyse set the thought aside and forced herself to look disdainful as she said, "As if _he_ could be much help with this anyway," She started to turn away, unable to bear the pity that fairly radiated from the three marines, but Shepard caught her shoulder.

"Do you have any family you can contact who could come get you?" the Commander asked gently, tilting her head to try to look Elyse in the eye. "I'm sure the embassy can find you a place to stay until – "

"No," said Elyse, still avoiding eye contact. The dizziness made her grateful she hadn't tried to pull away yet. "There's nobody."

"Are you that sure they wouldn't come?" Williams sounded puzzled and ready to get angry on her behalf.

It was probably touching, but the ice had spread and now Elyse couldn't make herself care. "Hard to come when they don't exist," she said as indifferently as she could, shrugging.

She glanced at the three for a second, taking in their bewilderment, and could almost see the questions forming in their minds. Shepard looked like she wanted to speak, but hesitated, apparently conflicted about pressing the girl.

 _Time to change the subject,_ Elyse pasted a smile on. "Since we have time, why don't we go to the Citadel Tower early? This is a really rare opportunity, you know?" She tried to get out of Shepard's grasp.

"Hang on," said the Commander, her hand tightening on Elyse's shoulder. "What do you mean, they don't exist?"

 _So much for that plan_. "I mean I don't have a family," she replied. The fake smile was gone, too hard to maintain, but there was nothing to replace it with. She tried to walk off again, but now Williams had stepped closer, hedging her in against the edge of the raised path.

"What about grandparents, aunts, uncles?" the chief demanded, concern in her face and voice. Shepard tried to calm her, but Williams kept going. "Or great-aunts and -uncles? Everyone has family."

"I _had_ mum and dad," insisted Elyse, glaring at the greenery just below her.

"Okay," Shepard cut in. "This is probably a conversation to have somewhere other than here. Why don't we make our way to the Citadel Tower and take in the sights for now? We can revisit this later," The Commander gave Williams and Elyse both a pointed look.

"Yes ma'am," they responded in unison, automatically. Williams gave Elyse one last worried glance, but the girl refused to acknowledge it.

Shepard lead the way down the stairs towards the embassies' reception desk, and Elyse couldn't help thinking sourly, _I guess this is the first hint for my loyalty mission._ She managed to avoid falling down the stairs by leaning heavily against the wall. But both Alenko and Williams were right there trying to help as soon as she stumbled, and it made her irrationally angry.

It took a lot of deep breaths under the guise of recovering from the attack to force the anger down. There was no benefit to lashing out right now, and too much weighing on being as unremarkable as was still possible. The welter of emotions continued to simmer under her breastbone, despite her best efforts. Elyse had a bad feeling about that, but couldn't shake any of it off.

Once she'd regained her balance, they continued to the reception desk. The smartly-dressed asari there greeted the Commander briskly, and was convinced to make a note to set up an appointment for Elyse for the next day cycle.

With that done, Shepard turned and headed for the Avina terminal.

"Greetings, and welcome to the Presidium. My name is Avina, and I am pleased to be your virtual guide throughout this level of the Citadel space station."

 _Ugh, she's even more obnoxious than I remember_ , Elyse thought, for once not suffering an attack. Then she realised that none of the marines were really paying attention to her. _Thank God for small mercies._

And off she went down the ramp towards the C-Sec Academy, careful to keep out of their line of sight.

Elyse had never been to the Citadel, let alone the Presidium, but everything was so very familiar in that dream-like, _déja vu_ way. Actually being there was novel, wearing through the ice and fury that was still trying to keep her distant. It was the many different people going about their own business more than the location that really drove it home for her, though.

The sudden, fierce longing welled up in her chest and into her throat, threatening tears. She was so homesick. But for where? Or whom? The disorientation made her knees wobble. Elyse managed to shake it off quickly and continue on by drawing on the remaining dregs of unreasoning anger.

Through luck, and no small amount of stepping quickly around people to cut off any line of sight, Elyse managed to get all the way to the Financial District without being spotted by the Commander. She felt a little guilty about slipping her collar and putting Williams in such a position, but not enough to make her want to turn around and head back.

The hanar merchant was glowing pleasantly at passers-by, exactly where the game had it. But there were far more people, and the proportions of the spaces were very different. The girl would have gotten lost, if not for the huge memorial krogan statue. As with almost everything else concerning her memories of, well, all of it, the statue was far superior in person to the clunky rendition in the game.

"If only bodies disappeared like in the game," Elyse muttered, thinking back to the spaceport at Eden Prime. "Is it worth seeing all this if that has to be real, too?"

She made it to the Consort's office and had propped herself against the wall near a Keeper at its terminal when Shepard hove into view on the walkway over the lake. The Commander locked eyes on Elyse, and the girl couldn't tell if it was anger or concern that contorted the woman's features. She didn't want to wait to find out.

Impulsively, she dodged into the Consort's office.

"Welcome," the asari greeted her serenely, covering her confusion. "I am Nelyna."

That was as far as she got before Shepard barged in, Alenko and Williams on her heels. Elyse yelped and dodged behind the asari, who could not hide her confusion this time.

"I'm sorry for the trouble," Shepard told the acolyte in a tightly controlled voice. To Elyse, she said, "Miss Nagai, we're going to be late."

The asari had managed to coax the girl out from behind her when a small _beep_ had Nelyna suddenly touch a hand to her ear, "Yes, Sha'ira?"

Elyse moved woodenly into the circle of the three marines, trying to find the disconnected feeling again to separate her from the anxiety that suddenly gripped her.

Then the asari acolyte was turning to Shepard. "It appears the Consort has taken notice of you," she said. "She'd like to meet with you now."

"Pardon?" said Shepard, whatever speech she'd been preparing for Elyse mercifully derailed.

Nelyna ushered the Commander off, taking advantage of the woman's confusion to get her to comply without much fuss. Leaving Elyse in the company of the no-less-upset Alenko and Williams.

They herded her out of the doorway and just to the left of it, on the opposite side from the insectoid Keeper.

She was sure Williams would give her an earful, but when the chief opened her mouth, it was laughter that came out. "Exactly like Sarah," was all she said.

Elyse gave a rueful chuckle. Alenko was still confused, but seemed mollified by Williams' reaction.

Instead of a lecture, he shook his head and said, "Please don't do that again, Miss Nagai."

"Which part?" asked Elyse. Sudden inspiration had hit. "Giving you guys the slip, or following my – my _gut_?"

"The first one for sure," Williams told her without missing beat. "The second one when it means you're doing the first."

Elyse stuck her tongue out at the chief, who started laughing again.

"Wonder why this Consort person wanted to see the Commander," Alenko mused after a short silence.

"To ask for a favour," supplied Shepard, stepping out of the office to join them. "And this asari is definitely one of the people you'd want to think highly of you."

The girl gave Williams a look at her raised eyebrow. Williams shook her head. "Coincidence. Everyone's right sometimes."

"Yes," Elyse agreed smugly. "Sometimes."

"Now we really _are_ going to be late for the hearing," said Shepard, starting towards the rapid transit device. With quick motions, she placed the call for a skycar to take them to the Citadel Tower.

"Sorry," said the girl. She did not feel the least bit apologetic. The chief snorted, apparently having picked up on that.

* * *

One marginally less nauseating shuttle ride brought the four of them to the agonisingly slow Citadel Tower elevator. Apprehension and unease stuck in Elyse's throat and curled like live eels around in her chest as the confounded lift came to a stop and the doors opened.

Two turians stood at the end of the hallway. _Another moment exactly like in the game_ , the girl thought, then had to disguise her dizziness with not-so-feigned gawking around. As they drew near, the one with white colonial makings over most of his forehead said, "Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous! Your investigation is over, Garrus."

The white-marked one turned to leave, and the turian with blue markings across his equivalent of cheekbones looked like he was about to say something in response. He seemed to think better of it, and instead turned to greet the four humans.

"Commander Shepard?" he said, and Shepard nodded. "Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

"'Was'?" echoed Shepard curiously.

"I'm sure you overheard. Executor Pallin wasn't exactly discreet just now, though that's probably because I kept pressing him," said Vakarian wryly. "He'll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council."

"Sounds like you really want to bring him down," the Commander offered. She seemed more hopeful than Elyse remembered of this exchange.

The girl watched Vakarian cross his blue-and-black-armoured arms. "I don't trust him. Something about him rubs me the wrong way. But he's a Spectre, everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence," He gave Shepard what Elyse thought was a regretful expression.

"I think the Council's ready for us, Commander," said Alenko, glancing across the gaudy fountain.

"Good luck, Shepard," the turian told them. He sounded bitter, even through the translator. "Maybe they'll listen to you."

Vakarian headed for the elevator, and the Commander started power walking around the water feature. Elyse had to jog to keep up with the marines.

They passed several petitioners and politicians on their way up all the stairs. There were the turian and salarian diplomats, arguing about who and when the next council race would be chosen. Here was where Williams made the remark about the many staircases being good defensive structures. It was all going so eerily according to how Elyse remembered. The eels coiling beneath her ribs turned out to be electric, sending jolts of adrenaline down to her fingers and making her giddy.

Captain Anderson waited just below the petitioner's stage. "The hearing's already started. Come on."

"The geth attack is a matter of concern," the asari Councilor was saying as the five of them mounted the last steps and joined Ambassador Udina. "But there are conflicting reports on Saren's involvement."

Elyse shivered, though not from any drop in temperature. _What have I done?_ _How far will the changes reach?_

The turian Councilor spoke next. "The investigation by Citadel Security turned up reports of Saren being elsewhere during the time of the attack."

"Three witnesses put him on Eden Prime," shouted Ambassador Udina. "One of whom was Nihlus, your own agent!"

"We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador," said the salarian Councilor smoothly. "A traumatised dockworker is hardly compelling proof, and I find it hard to believe that an untrained child could face a Spectre, let alone survive a biotic explosion with so little damage," He paused, and the girl wondered if she should maybe feel insulted by his disbelief, but couldn't help agreeing. "Unfortunately, Nihlus' report is inadmissible as evidence due to its incoherence, and he is unable to give his testimony while under anaesthesia in surgery."

 _He's in surgery? Shit!_ Her heart skipped a beat at that, but Elyse tried to calm herself. _Shouldn't medical practices be more advanced now than over a century ago? I'm sure they have it under control._

"I resent these accusations," Saren's virtual avatar said heatedly. "Nihlus is a fellow Spectre, and a friend."

"That just let you catch him off guard!" said Anderson.

"Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me," sneered Saren. His eyes flicked over the rest of the group before settling on Shepard. "And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon get destroyed."

Shepard leaned forward, eyes blazing. "You're the one who destroyed the beacon. Then you tried to cover it up."

"Shift the blame to cover your own failures, just like Captain Anderson. He's taught you well," Saren shrugged, glancing at the Councilors. "But what can you expect from a human?"

"Saren despises humanity," said the Commander, shoulders tense. "He wanted the beacon, and he had no compunctions against taking it by force."

"I thought I heard that this discovery was being shared with the galactic community," countered Saren. "What reason could I have for taking it, then? And I don't 'despise' humanity. I merely believe your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres!"

"He has no right to say that!" Udina yelled. "That's not his decision!"

"Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting," the asari Councilor confirmed.

Saren jumped on that, just like Elyse recalled. "This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, Councilor. And mine."

"Saren's hiding behind his position as a Spectre," cried Shepard. "You need to open your eyes!"

The salarian Councilor responded. "What we need is conclusive evidence. So far, we have not been convinced."

"There is still one outstanding issue: the vision experienced by both Commander Shepard and Miss Nagai," said Captain Anderson, and the girl cringed. "It may have been triggered by the beacon."

"Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?" scoffed Saren.

"I agree," said the turian Councilor. "Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."

"Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepard?" The salarian Councilor sounded slightly exasperated.

"You've made your decision," said Shepard stiffly. "I won't waste my breath."

The Councilors shared a look. Then the asari Councilor – Tevos, Elyse thought was her name – said, "The Council is not satisfied that there is any connection between Saren and the geth. Until Nihlus is able to give his testimony, or some other, _irrefutable_ evidence is provided, Ambassador, your petition to have Saren disbarred from the Spectres is denied. Saren," Tevos looked up at Saren's holographic avatar. "Please remain in range of contact while we await word from Nihlus."

"Of course, Councilor," Saren sounded dismissive. "I hope to see justice served."

"This meeting is adjourned," said Tevos. Saren's form faded.

The six humans retreated to the next level of the Tower, moving into a shadowed corner.

"It was a mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain," Udina began. "You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives."

"You might be right," allowed Anderson. "But I know Saren. He's working with the geth for one reason: to keep humanity from gaining power in the galaxy. I wouldn't be surprised if he starts targeting other human colonies – hell, even Earth may not be safe."

 _So much is different_ , thought Elyse, staring around dazedly. _And so much is still the same. Isn't it?_

She found herself ruing the fact that she'd only played the games through twice. The conversation continued, and as far as Elyse could remember, it didn't deviate from them.

Shepard asked about the Captain's history with Saren. Anderson glossed over it without giving any details, but maintained that the man needed to be stopped. That brought up the question of how that could be done, with Nihlus still in jeopardy and unable to give his testimony. Alenko recalled Garrus, the Ambassador mentioned Harkin, and the Captain refused to consider that source.

Udina snorted scornfully. "You won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past with Saren as an excuse to dismiss anything we find. Shepard will handle this."

"You can't just cut Captain Anderson out of this investigation!" said Shepard indignantly.

"The ambassador's right," said Anderson, shaking his head. "I need to step aside."

"Then I need to take care of some business," Udina said briskly. "Captain, meet me in my office later," The Ambassador headed off toward the stairs.

Anderson told Shepard where to find Harkin, and at the misgivings she echoed from him, the location of the volus financier and possible Shadow Broker agent.

Then Williams spoke up. "Sir, shall I escort Miss Nagai back to the embassies?" She sounded uncertain, and Elyse met her concerned glance. The other three turned their gazes to the girl as well, and she dropped her eyes to her overlarge boots.

"No," said Anderson after a moment. "I'll take her with me. I was intending to check in on Nihlus," Elyse looked up and found that he was speaking to her. "I had Dr Chakwas stay with him to keep me updated on his condition. She asked that you meet with her at the hospital in her latest message."

Shepard saluted the Captain, Alenko and Williams a beat behind her. Anderson returned it, and the three marines left.

"Well," said Anderson to the girl. "We'll take a shuttle to the hospital."

He started for the rapid transit terminal, and Elyse followed. Anxiety continued to twist in her chest like eels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much trouble with the hearing scene. The original scene - which I hunted down all over YouTube to transcribe, just to pick apart - is terrible. I wanted to come up with something that didn't break the flow of the story, but also didn't have a million holes in it. I hope I've accomplished that!
> 
> For those who were confused by the end of Chapter 6 about why Dr Chakwas was treating the blood clot in Nihlus' leg so seriously, I hope this has helped to clear that up. My dad does work in medical equipment manufacturing, which was partly why I know about it, but even a quick Google search can bring up information on how serious blood clots are in organisms that have blood. If a large blood clot cannot be dealt with using anticoagulants or "clot-buster" medication that is specifically targeted to the area the clot's in (because it's dangerous to use it in a large area, it's so potent), surgery is generally the only option.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reads (and reviews!) this story! I am so incredibly happy that there are people other than me who are enjoying it!
> 
> And another huge thanks to my betaditors, who have kept me going on this project despite my whining and bothering.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so hoped I'd be able to keep a schedule. This last month, I've had so much going on besides the story, and then in writing there were so many blocks at every turn. I'm a little surprised by how coherent this chapter is, to be honest. And if you, dear readers, find things that aren't, please let me know! I can't promise to change things, but hearing about what does and doesn't work helps me write better in the future.

“I'm sorry,” said Anderson without preamble.

Elyse glanced sideways at the stoic Captain. He was focused on piloting the shuttle, but spared a second to look her in the eyes. She dropped her gaze quickly.

“What for?” she asked.

“For involving you in Citadel politics. For dragging you across the galaxy,” He paused, then said quietly, “For your parents.”

The girl looked up at Anderson, and when he glanced at her again, she held his eyes. He looked away first, but only because he was driving. Elyse wondered what he'd seen in that glance, if she appeared as empty as she felt. She couldn't find the words or motivation to ask.

They got to the hospital without speaking further, although the trip didn't take very long. The Zilas Hospital was the closest hospital to the docks, and much larger than the only one Elyse recalled from her memories of the games. Nausea and disorientation hit her like a gut punch as she considered this, and she was grateful to be leaning back against the seat.

Captain Anderson set the skycar down in one of the spaces designated for the rapid transit vehicles, and the two of them made their way into the busy lobby. They stood to one side as Anderson sent a message to Chakwas that they'd arrived.

Surrounded by the hubbub of people waiting to be called and the faint smell of disinfectant permeating the room, Elyse was struck again by the dizziness and nausea, and shut her eyes tightly to fight it. The atmosphere in the lobby, so similar to any other hospital in the galaxy – _and apparently across time, too_ – was triggering a memory, one that she couldn't ignore or suppress.

The last memory of Re-.

“ _Re-, are you okay, honey? Re-?” a woman's voice called softly, a hand on her shoulder._

_She remembered groaning, rolling over, falling back into fitful slumber. The voice – her mother's voice – roused her once or twice more, and she even managed to claw her way into wakefulness for part of a day. But she couldn't bring herself to eat, and, since she'd been too miserable even to sit up and watch TV, decided sleep was the best way to get through the illness._

_Then sirens had broken through her dreams, and strangers with loud voices tried to get a response from her. She couldn't open her eyes or make her mouth form words to reply, and she was too tired to fight for it. The brief moment of awareness passed._

_The sharp prick of a needle in her arm made her wince, but it faded quickly back into nothing._

_Finally, she managed to blink her eyes open, and breathed in that distinct chemical smell._

_She turned her head, squinted blearily up at her parents' faces with eyes that refused to focus without glasses._

_Tears stained their cheeks, and more filled their eyes when they saw she was awake._

“ _Re-!” they cried. Her name on their lips was the last thing she heard or saw before the darkness that enveloped her gave way to screams and red skies. “Re-! Re-!_

“ _Reeva!”_

“Elyse!” Someone was holding her head gently and leaning over her. “Elyse, can you hear me?”

Everything hurt. All her muscles were aching, her throat was raw, her chest and neck and head felt like they'd been beaten. When she opened her eyes, she found herself looking up at an older woman with short, grey hair, and an older man in a blue uniform. There were other people – _aliens? Where am I? No, that's right, isn't it? I'm at a hospital on... the Citadel?_ – standing just beyond where she could see them clearly. She was on a gurney in a wide hallway, and a nasty headache was making it hard to keep her eyes open. _What's going on?_ She tried to sit up, but found even that simple task required more strength than she had.

“Can you hear me?” the older woman – _Dr Chakwas, she's Dr Chakwas_ – repeated.

The girl responded with a nod, and regretted it.

“Do you remember your name?”

“Re-um,” She swallowed thickly, momentarily tongue-tied. “I-I'm Elyse Nagai.”

“How are you feeling?” asked the man gently.

_Captain Anderson_ , thought the girl. _That's right, I remember now_ . “Sore,” she croaked. “tired. What happened?”

Chakwas hesitated, then asked, “What's the last thing you remember?”

“Um,” she said, trying to force her foggy mind to focus. “The-the lobby? The smell of the disinfectant. People talking. It reminded me of something. A bad memory.”

Dr Chakwas waited a beat longer for the girl to say more. When all she did was scrunch her face up against her headache, the doctor told her, “Captain Anderson says you cried out suddenly, and collapsed,” She motioned to one of the other people, and the gurney began to move. “then convulsed for about a minute. I got there in time to see it end, and then we put you on this gurney. We're taking you to a quiet room where we have better equipment that will help us find out what caused it. What hurts the most?”

“My head is splitting,” Elyse admitted, closing her eyes.

“Are you dizzy or nauseous at all?”

“No,” was her relieved response. “Not right now.”

“Can you see clearly?” asked Chakwas.

The girl half-opened her eyes. “Mostly. The headache is really bad.”

The questions continued for a little longer, and they reached a room where two others waited.

Elyse couldn't have said when Dr Chakwas and Captain Anderson stepped away from her, leaving the salarian orderly to manoeuvre the gurney into position adjacent a large machine. It had a mobile arm attachment that was held over her on the hovering bed. She tried to sit up a bit to look at it better, but again encountered a great weariness.

“Lie back and try to relax,” the orderly said. “The scans won't take long.”

She complied, feeling unsettled, and the continuing headache wasn't making that any better. It was too tiring to try to watch the orderly retreat, or look over at Chakwas and Anderson standing behind a glass partition with the other people and the equipment there, so the girl closed her eyes.

The hum of the machine turning on was a bit startling, but Elyse managed not to let her eyes open. She heard the noise change as the arm moved all the way around her, even under the gurney to complete a full circuit. Its lights turned the insides of her eyelids dimly orange when it was above her. The noise and lights stopped after a moment, and she wondered if she could move yet. She felt vulnerable and alone, even though the others were only behind the transparent partition.

Another noise began, and more lights, though of a different colour, and more movement of the arm around her on the bed. These, too, were brief.

Then a door opened, and voices spilled out into the rest of the room. They seemed to be confused or arguing, or both.

Footsteps approached her. Elyse squinted with one eye, and saw the vague shape of the Captain.

“Hey,” he said. “Holding up alright?”

“Still hurting and tired,” she replied. “What's going on? What have they found?”

“I'm not sure about all the terms they keep using,” Anderson started, shaking his head. “but it sounds like they're confused by the results. Things aren't matching what they're expecting, or anything else from what I gather,” His eyes travelled her face, apparently seeing the pain in the lines between her eyebrows and the slant of her mouth. “Close your eyes and rest a bit. Dr Chakwas will let us know what they've learned.”

With the Captain subsiding into silence, Elyse decided to take his advice. She closed both her eyes again, letting the voices become white noise instead of trying to follow the conversations.

But she couldn't just let her mind rest, oh no. That would be easy.

Her thoughts were swirling mercilessly. There were things she couldn't tell the doctors – hell, that she couldn't tell anyone – about what was going on in her head. Things that might help them understand and be better able to treat her, but could just as easily get her a stay in a cozy room with locks on the outside of the door. As much as she wanted to stay away from the _Normandy_ , she wanted to be free to prepare for the coming terror, more. Even if she didn't know exactly how she wanted to go about doing that.

So she would have to figure it out for herself: what was going on? Why was she having these seizures? And beyond that, why did she remember Reeva's life like her own – or was it her own?

Dr Chakwas had said something about strange brain activity beginning around the time the cargo train station blew up. That seemed possible; Elyse could not remember remembering being Reeva until after the geth platform had chased her up to the train station.

She figured the dizziness could be from her brain trying to reconcile two separate lives' worth of memories. If she was honest with herself, she hoped this was true because she was afraid and disturbed by the idea that she might actually have epilepsy on top of all the other problems in her life. Then she felt a bit stupid for preferring the idea of having such a strange, impossible thing as remembering two different lives to having a normal, treatable problem like epilepsy.

Sounds of a person approaching drew her out of her contemplation.

“So,” she heard Anderson say. “what have you found?”

“A puzzle,” said Dr Chakwas crossly. Then, to the girl more gently, “Are you awake, Elyse?”

She opened one eye again. “Mhmm.”

“The scans reveal that, while you do have abnormal brain activity, it is not restricted to certain periods of time, such as during a seizure,” the grey-haired woman explained. “This doesn't rule out the possibility of epilepsy. But your implant VI's records show that these abnormalities started abruptly, during the attack on Eden Prime.”

“Could it have been caused by the beacon?” asked the Captain.

Dr Chakwas made a frustrated noise. “There's no way to tell for sure. It doesn't seem to have been the initial trigger,” She pulled up the report on her omni-tool, scrolling until she found the part she was referencing. “It appears that the abnormalities were first recorded around the time the train station was blown up. However,” The doctor brought up something else, and nodded. “the scans I took during her unconsciousness when she was first brought aboard and the ones we took now both show different abnormalities than the VI's records.”

“What does that mean for me?” Elyse opened her other eye to try to see Chakwas better.

“I am not sure,” Dr Chakwas glanced over her 'tool's screen for a moment longer, before closing the interface and looking at the girl. “It's too soon to say whether this is epilepsy or not. But that doesn't mean we can't discuss ways to manage the seizures.”

“I'm all ears.”

“Pardon me,” said an asari in a white smock. “I'm supposed to tell a Captain Anderson with the Alliance military that Spectre Kryik is awake and asking for him.”

“That would be me,” Anderson glanced at Chakwas. “I'll probably be going to see Udina after I check in with Nihlus.”

“If the Commander asks, I'll let her know,” said the doctor.

The Captain nodded, then looked over at Elyse. “You're gonna be just fine, child. The doctors will know how to help you.”

“Yes, sir.” Elyse tried to smile, but feared it was more of a grimace.

Anderson seemed to understand, though. He gave her a small smile in return and left, following the asari out the door.

When the girl looked back at Dr Chakwas, the woman's eyes were narrowed slightly in a calculating expression. It cleared almost as soon as she deciphered it, becoming more neutral tending towards worried.

“Once they've stopped arguing,” said Chakwas, indicating the people still talking heatedly beyond the partition. “the doctor in charge will come explain to you what they've been disagreeing about. You'll be given a choice of treatments for the seizures. They'll likely offer you medications or gene therapy, but there are non-pharmaceutical options that use a device to either regulate or interrupt the abnormal electrical events.”

“The medication you gave me before seemed to help for a little bit,” Elyse said thoughtfully. “But it also apparently stopped helping after a while.”

“It was only one dose that you received. It could be that a medication will work, if you were taking it regularly.”

The revulsion she felt at the idea of requiring medication long term was definitely based in her memories of – as? – Reeva, but she still found herself saying, “I, ah, I think I would still rather consider the other options.”

“Well, the gene therapy is the most thorough option, and the most expensive. It might also be a dead end, if your seizures are not related to epilepsy.”

“Then the devices would be the best option? Given my preferences, anyway. I wonder if my implant's VI could be modified to do the same thing as these devices?”

“That could be,” allowed Dr Chakwas. Her lips thinned for a moment. “I apologise for bringing this up, but... how is your financial situation?”

The girl was thrown by the question, but not for long. “I have some credits,” she said, her voice catching. She closed her eyes as the room lurched, and put a hand over her eyes. “Dad, um, set up an account for me when I was accepted by the Ascension Project. It wasn't supposed to be much, just enough to let me start getting the hang of taking care of myself.”

“And your parents?” Chakwas pressed carefully. “They kept their accounts in order?”

“Yes. They were very particular about it, too. Which makes sense, I guess, given their backgrounds. Their accountant would – _will_ get instructions from their will, and have their assets transferred to my name. It should only take a few days, once the will's been read,” the girl said in a dull, rote manner.

“What about lodging while that's being dealt with? Do you have family that could take you in?”

“No. No family,” Elyse made a waving motion with the hand that wasn't on her face. “Mum's an orphan and dad's disowned, and there isn't really anybody to take care of me if something hap- happened to them,” _Damn me, not now_. Tears began to run from under her hand. Finally she was able to cry, and now she hated herself for being unable to stop. _Where's the stupid dissociation when I want it?_ she wondered, clearing her throat. “That's why they were so careful about legal stuff, you know?”

Then her face crumpled, and tears made salty tracks into her hair. The grey-haired doctor took her hand as she dissolved into silent sobs.

She was able to rein it in after a couple of minutes. That's when she realised she couldn't hear the arguing of the others, and shame made her face burn. The girl scrubbed at her eyes with the unrolled sleeve of one arm, sniffling.

“You will be looked after, Elyse,” Dr Chakwas told her quietly.

The girl couldn't bring herself to look at the people now coming over to the gurney. Some of them continued shuffling along, heading out the door, but two of them, an asari and a human, came to stand beside Chakwas.

Just as Chakwas had predicted, they explained that the scans were too ambiguous to give a clear and certain diagnosis, but there were still options for dealing with the seizures. They suggested she request testing for the genes known to be present in humans with epilepsy, even if she didn’t go for the gene therapy, just so they could get a better idea of what the problem could be. This seemed like sound advice, especially since Chakwas gave a nod when Elyse glanced at her.

And when Elyse asked about using her implant to stand in for the devices used to treat seizures, the asari confirmed that such a thing was not unheard of for asari with similar problems, and that it wouldn’t be impossible to adapt it for humans. She promised to contact someone at the Ascension Project about it for her.

Blood was drawn, saliva was taken, and a full battery of scans and tests and questions followed. The girl lost track of the good Dr Chakwas after five or so minutes. Despite recognising that Chakwas was needed back at the _Normandy_ , Elyse couldn't help feeling abandoned.

She became aware that she was shutting down again while the bandages Chakwas had put on the largest abrasions from the train station explosion were changed. A nurse asked if her head hurt anywhere, and she responded with a mute nod and a gesture. A doctor reviewing scans asked pointed questions to help ascertain whether she had a concussion, and she answered with as few words as she dared. Panic was beginning to scratch at the inside of her sternum, and too many worries whirled through her head, driving her heart into her throat.

_How long can I survive on my allowance? Can I afford the treatments now that I'm no longer in Alliance care? Where will I stay while I find passage back to Grissom Academy that won't both break my account? What will I do for mum and dad's funeral? Are there even bodies left to bury? How can I survive the coming of the Reapers like this?_

Someone touched her shoulder, and she flinched out of her bleak contemplation.

Captain Anderson was looking down at her. “Miss Nagai, would you like somewhere quiet to sit for a bit?”

Elyse blinked, trying to process what he'd said. Then she sat up and looked around for the doctor who'd been in charge.

Permission was given to escape the prodding. They asked where the Captain was taking her, and had her promise to stay there until someone came for her. The Ascension Project's representative had been in touch, they said. The adaptation of the device's code would be ready for her soon.

A mobile chair was retrieved for her. It had wheels, but was also capable of hovering like the gurney, no doubt using mass effect drives. The very small part of her that was still childish was excited by the idea of using the chair, even as she protested the need for it. Her internal argument was made moot when the doctor told her to use it anyway.

Anderson guided her chair through many winding corridors and past a lot of people. But the novelty of the mobile chair faded, and as the panic returned, the bustling of the hospital seemed to move around her while she remained still.

“You must get the worst tension headaches,” said the Captain, as if to himself.

“Pardon?” Elyse turned in the chair to look up at him.

“You carry all your stress in your shoulders, you know,” He demonstrated, then raised an eyebrow as he resumed his normal posture to make the point. “Unless you stretch it out right, it can lead to muscle cramps and tension headaches. May I ask what has you tied in knots?”

 _Would it hurt to tell him?_ Elyse wondered. She faced forward and crossed her arms. _Could it change the story further?_ She didn't figure that it would, but hesitated anyway.

“It's alright to say nothing,” Anderson told her. The quiet concern in his voice made the decision easier.

“I'm – it's too much,” She took a shuddering breath. “There's too many things I need to do and I don't even know half of what they are. And there's nobody that can help me figure it out; I don't have anyone else,” Her voice broke; she swiped angrily at traitorous tears, and covered her face, mortified. “I'm afraid of going back to the Academy, because everyone will be sympathetic and kind and then move on with their lives, and I'll still be alone.”

“I'm sorry,” said Anderson gently. “I don't have a lot of answers for you. But you're not alone right now. If you'd like, I can make sure the Alliance is aware that they owe you a few things.”

Elyse couldn't find her voice to ask what he meant or thank him. She managed to nod, hands still over her face. A big hand patted the top of her head lightly.

She wiped the tears away, and noticed they had stopped outside a room. Glancing around told her they were in a recovery ward. When she looked up at Anderson, he smiled a little and gestured at a doorway.

As soon as she rolled into the room, a familiar flanging voice called out, “Hey, kid! You look like a varren's lunch.”

Nihlus was lying on a strange bed – probably designed specifically for turians – with tubes coming out of his nostrils and attached to a machine that was beeping at regular intervals. One of those light-weight hospital blankets that seemed just like the ones from over a century ago covered his legs. Something was odd about the shape of them.

“Speak for yourself,” retorted Elyse with a small smirk, her voice still raspy from crying.

“What, this?” Nihlus gestured at himself. “This is nothing.”

“Hah, only a flesh wound?”

“Exactly,” He winked. To Anderson, he said, “Take a seat, the kid has her own.”

“No, I can't,” demurred the Captain, smiling. “I've got to meet Ambassador Udina, and,” He gave Elyse a significant look. “make some calls.”

“Well,” said Nihlus after the Captain had left. “I hear you've been causing trouble.”

“Oh yeah? Who says?” The girl moved the chair closer to Nihlus' bed.

“Who do you think?” The turian nodded toward the doorway where Anderson had just been. “What could possibly motivate you to run away from the Commander? Just because you're on the Citadel doesn't mean it's exactly safe.”

Elyse suddenly found the view from the window fascinating. “I just needed a walk,” she muttered under her breath. When Nihlus didn't respond, she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. The turian's piercing eyes regarded her intently, but Elyse couldn't fathom what his expression might have said.

Then he plucked at the blanket. “And what's this I hear about you yelling at the human Ambassador?” He pulled a human trick and raised one of his brow plates.

“What?” She was thrown, hadn't expected Nihlus to drop it so quickly. “He started it!”

“A likely story.”

“Shows what you know,” Elyse said, sticking her tongue out.

“Hmm. Mature,” Then he pointed at the mobile chair. “So what's this about, then?”

“It's not like I _need_ it,” she said, patting one of the arms. “The doctor thought I should use it, since I experienced a big seizure when we got to the hospital a while ago.”

“How big a seizure? Are you alright?”

“I'm fine now. I don't even remember what happened.”

“That's not very reassuring. Have they been able to tell you what's causing it?” He leaned a little closer to her on the bed, his facial plates shifting. “It doesn't have to do with the beacon, does it?”

“They're not sure,” she said, somewhat distractedly. The turian seemed to be uncomfortable, or in pain. She leaned an arm on the bed, and it clicked. With a horrified gasp, she exclaimed, “Nihlus, your leg!”

Nihlus looked down at the blanket with a twitch of his mandibles, where the shape of only one leg was apparent. Elyse wondered if the expression he wore now might have been a grimace. “Ah, I sort of hoped you wouldn't notice that right away.”

“Wouldn't notice?” Elyse made a strangled, indignant noise. “Wouldn't notice that your _fucking leg is gone?_ Nihlus,” She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes, so she focused on the blanket. “you got hurt so bad because you shielded me in the explosion at the train station.”

“Hey, now. Look at me,” He waited until she raised her gaze to meet his, then said in a quiet, growly voice, “This is _not_ your fault. You jumped in to help me when you had every right to look after yourself. You probably saved my life. Isn't it fair that I save you in return?”

She sputtered, unable to come up with a rebuttal.

“Besides,” said Nihlus, the translator making him sound gruff. “it's a hazard of the job. I'm a Spectre, in case you forgot.”

Elyse looked down again, chewed on her lower lip. “Couldn't they have saved it? Your leg. How are you going to be a Spectre like this?”

“Yeah, they said they could try to save it,” The turian lifted one hand in a what-can-you-do gesture. “but the physical therapy would last a lot longer than – hey, who are you? What are you doing in here?”

Three people were at the door. A salarian in a plain smock stood just outside, wringing his hands, while an asari and a turian in armour tromped into the room. The asari advanced on Nihlus, brandishing a syringe; the turian drew a pistol from a hidden holster, bearing down on Elyse. Nihlus snarled wordlessly, one hand scrabbling under the pillow at his back as the other slapped a button on the bed's frame.

Fear froze Elyse in place for a precious second.

Then the asari reached the foot of Nihlus' bed, and Elyse jumped out of the chair and vaulted over the bed. She managed to grab the asari's arm as she landed. Using the asari's arm to anchor her, she allowed momentum to swing her around, lining up the shot. Her hands came up as the asari began to raise one of her own, a tell-tale blue glow coalescing around it.

_BOOM! KKSSSHHH!_

The asari was hurled up over Nihlus' bed and through the window, her body crushed against the pane before it shattered. Elyse was flung back into the wall, though the asari's attack had merely clipped her. The impact winded her. She gasped for breath.

An untranslated growl reminded Elyse of the gun-wielding attacker. Her eyes locked on him as he pulled the trigger. The retort of the weapon was strange in her ears. Something slugged her in the left shoulder, and she staggered against the wall again. There was no pain. When he shot again, a Barrier deflected it. And the next shot, and the next.

Elyse's vision tunneled. Nothing existed but the armoured turian shooting her. She shoved herself off the wall, stepped toward him. He took a step back. She lifted her arms, though the left one refused to rise above her waist. Her fingers flexed. The Barrier curved away from her. Gun overheated, the shooter turned to run, but stopped mid-stride. Blue light shone around him, highlighting the edges of his armour.

A gutteral cry escaped him. His chestplate caved in on one side with a great _crunch!_ and viscous blue fluid splattered the floor. The girl's hands flexed again, fingers like claws. Another sharp noise, another part of the shooter's armour collapsed inwards. On the very edges of her awareness, Elyse heard shouting. But that didn't matter.

One last step. She could see the fear in the dying man's eyes. Something in her chest and throat clenched. Then she closed her hands into white-knuckled fists.

Dark blue blood splashed her as shooter's chestplate crumpled with an almighty _KRUMPPP!_

Numbness wrapped Elyse's body in pins and needles. White encroached on the edges of her vision. She let go of the Barrier, dropping the mangled body. It hit the ground and sprawled, lifeless.

Her head throbbed dully, as if it belonged to someone else. Somewhere in the whiteness, she could sense people moving, and roaring filled her ears. Her legs buckled, and she pitched forward.

The last thing she saw was the distorted form of the dead turian.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, man! I can't believe this story is enjoyed enough for folks to want to make guesses about what's coming! Everyone who called it on the assassins gets a cookie!  
> A huuuuge thanks to my betaditors, who've put up with my whining about how hard this chapter has been! And a huge thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing! It's a major confidence boost, and it helps me kill that little niggling voice that tries to tell me to burn everything.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the wait. I gave up on a schedule three chapters ago, but I didn't intend to take so long. I also didn't intend to apply to university for this year, given that it was so late, but that's what happened. And after moving and starting classes, I didn't have enough energy until recently for personal writing. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

The hunt for evidence against Saren was going well.

Shepard's heart beat a steady rhythm, keeping time for her pounding feet. She, Alenko, and Williams were pelting for the alley they'd been told of, along with the turian C-Sec officer and the krogan mercenary. Both leads had panned out, miraculously, although that was because they both seemed to lead to the same thing. If they could make it in time to stop Saren's men from hurting or kidnapping the quarian, they should have solid evidence to back up Nihlus' testimony.

By some fortuitous chance, all five of them managed to avoid running into the people of the Citadel, who were going about their own business despite the gunshots and cacophony of battle inside Chora's Den – which was possibly a less than uncommon occurrence if the lack of panic on the streets was anything to go by – and they reached the alley without incident. Shepard ordered them to approach as quietly as possible and wait on her signal.

Four people stood in the red-lit corridor. Two salarians blocked the opposite end, and a turian loomed over a short figure in an environment suit. The quarian.

The turian reached out to caress the quarian's head and run his hand down her arm. “They'll be here. Where's the evidence?”

“No way,” said the quarian, slapping his hand away and backing up. “The deal's off.”

The salarians began to raise their pistols, but the quarian grabbed something from her belt and tossed it at them as she dodged the turian's grasping hands. A small explosion sent both hitmen flying.

At the  _crack!_ of Shepard's gunshot, the rest of her team began shooting. The quarian was able to duck into cover behind one of the many haphazardly stacked crates. She didn't just hide, though, and it was her shot that took out one of the salarians. The fight was over in under a minute.

While Alenko and Williams began helping Vakarian deal with the would-be assassins' bodies, Shepard offered a hand to help the quarian stand. She was waved off, but noticed the quarian leaned on the crate as unobtrusively as she could.

“Fist set me up,” she muttered to herself. “I knew I couldn't trust him!”

“Were you hurt in the fight?” Shepard asked, opening her helmet's visor.

“I know how to look after myself,” was the stiff reply. The mask of the enviro-suit tilted upwards, and glowing eyes took in Shepard's concerned expression. The quarian relaxed her tense shoulders slightly. “Not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?”

“My name's Shepard, I'm with the Alliance. We –” Shepard gestured to include the other four. “– heard you might have evidence proving that Spectre Saren Arterius is a traitor to the Council, and that you were in trouble.”

“I do have something,” admitted the quarian. “I guess I'll be able to repay you for saving my life. But we need to go somewhere safe.”

Williams opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by two insistent  _beeps_ .

Shepard muttered, “Excuse me,” to the quarian and turned slightly as she answered the call; from the corner of her eye she saw Vakarian do the same. “Shepard.”

“ _Commander_ ,” came Anderson's voice. “ _There is a situation at the hospital where Nihlus is recovering. Are you able to meet me there?_ ”

“Yes, sir,” said Shepard. She glanced at the quarian. “We have someone with evidence against Saren. Where would you have us take them?”

“ _Bring them with you. This area should be secure. At least, it is now_ ,” The Captain muttered the last part, almost as if he hadn't intended it to be heard. Then, softly, “ _She's hurt, Shepard_.”

The Commander went rigid. She acknowledged Anderson tersely and ended the call.

“Commander?” Williams sounded worried.

“Shepard,” said Vakarian, cutting Williams off. “I've been called to the Zilas Hospital.”

“That's where we're heading, too,” Shepard responded. She looked over at the krogan, hesitating.

Urdnot Wrex gave a considering grunt. “I'd like to see where this is headed. I'll come, if you'll have me.”

The Commander nodded sharply. “Then let's move.”

 

* * *

 

People crowded the area around the hospital. There was also a section that was cordoned off; Shepard glimpsed broken glass littering the ground, and what could have been blood.

Vakarian managed to convince the agitated C-Sec officers to send for Captain Anderson when they reached the hospital's doors. Anderson and a higher-ranked C-Sec officer confirmed that they had access, and the entire group was let through, despite the looks the quarian and krogan received.

“Sir, what happened?” asked Shepard as the seven of them walked swiftly down the halls toward the recovery ward.

“Nihlus was attacked. Miss Nagai was with him at the time,” Anderson glanced at Shepard, watching her reaction as he said, “He'd be dead if it weren't for her. She stopped two hitmen: an asari and a turian.”

Shepard heard Alenko let out a low whistle. Her own features were pulled into a frown. “How did she manage that?”

“Apparently by doing something she shouldn't have been able to,” The Captain held up a hand to forestall more questions. “I'll let Nihlus explain – he has the security vids. It's something you need to see to believe.”

They passed a room filled with busy C-Sec personnel. It was one of the rooms directly above the part of the street covered with broken glass. Shepard only got a short glance at it, but the room was a mess – and that was definitely a splattery puddle of turian blood on the floor just inside the door, and another of a human hue on the wall. The Commander took discrete note of the others' expressions as they, too, took this in. Alenko and Williams appeared grim; Vakarian had a calculating shift to his facial plates, data scrolling across his visor; the quarian's body language suggested anxiety, but that could have been due to her precarious situation; Wrex seemed to casually assess everything, though he gave no hint as to what he made of it.

There were C-Sec officers outside Nihlus' new room. It was a larger one that normally held multiple beds, but at the moment there was only the injured Spectre's, positioned beside a table that held several datapads. The man himself was propped up in a sitting position, typing something into his omni-tool as he perused the datapad in his lap. He looked up as the group entered.

“Anderson. Shepard,” Nihlus took a moment to wave his typing hand for them all to enter. “Quite the entourage you've got there.”

“They've earned the right to be here,” said Shepard firmly.

Nihlus merely nodded. “Would you like to go first, or shall I?”

“Have you been informed of the meeting with the Council?”

“Yes,” said the Spectre, a turian grimace shifting his facial plates. “It's not surprising, considering the lack of conclusive evidence in my absence, but it still chafes my cowl.”

“We went in search of further evidence once the meeting concluded. Officer Vakarian –” the C-Sec officer made a gesture in salute, “– was in charge of C-Sec's investigation. After it was closed due to time constraints, he discovered a possible lead. We met him at a small clinic in the wards where we learned about a quarian who had possible evidence against Spectre Arterius, and followed her trail to Chora's Den. A human man called Fist, who used to be an operative of the Shadow Broker, sent her to an ambush with Spectre Arterius' men under the guise of meeting with the Shadow Broker. Urdnot Wrex helped us... deal with him, and then accompanied us to try to save her.”

Considering looks were turned on both the Commander and the krogan. Shepard continued without changing expression. “We reached the meeting in time to stop the attackers. She confirmed that she has information for us.”

“Er,” The quarian shifted nervously when all eyes turned to her. “My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. I was on my Pilgrimage when I began hearing reports of geth in the galaxy,” Everyone seemed to understand the significance of this, but in her nervousness, the quarian explained anyway. She described tracking down and disabling one of the geth that had left the Veil, and how she had been fortunate enough to salvage data from its memory core before it could fry itself completely.

Then she played the audio file.

Everyone stilled, rapt.

“Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit.”

There was more, but several people began speaking at once.

“That's him alright,” rumbled Wrex.

“This proves he was involved in the attack!” the Captain exclaimed.

“'Involved'?” Williams muttered. “It almost sounds like he ordered it.”

“What could he mean by 'finding the Conduit'?” Alenko wondered aloud.

As they speculated, Shepard watched Nihlus silently. The turian gripped the datapads so tightly for a moment that she thought they might break. It looked like he had to force himself to relax and set them down.

Tali'Zorah said something, but was drowned out by the discussion. After a couple false starts, she raised her voice in order to be heard. “There's more to it than that!” Once she had the room's attention again, she replayed the file.

“Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit,” Saren's voice said again.

“And one step closer to the return of the Reapers.”

The rest of the audio file devolved into harsh static, and 'Zorah quickly shut it off.

“Hmm,” Nihlus tapped a talon on the rail of his bed. “That voice...”

“I feel like I've heard of 'Reapers' before,” mumbled Shepard.

“According to some of the other data I recovered from the memory core,” The quarian scrolled through something else on her omni-tool, “the geth believe that the Reapers were a hyper advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago. That it was the Reapers that hunted the protheans to total extinction, and then they vanished.”

The Commander stiffened. “The vision,” she said, and Anderson's gaze snapped to hers. “What if it showed me the protheans being wiped out by the Reapers?”

“The geth revere the Reapers as gods,” 'Zorah added. “the pinnacle of non-organic life. The rest of the memory core's data indicates they think Saren knows how to bring them back.”

“We have to tell the Council,” said the Captain, still holding the Commander's eyes.

“This is a lot to handle,” argued Shepard. “They might just ignore everything we tell them!”

Anderson shook his head, one hand raised placatingly. “No matter what they think about the rest of this, that audio file proves Saren's a traitor.”

“Captain Anderson is right,” interjected Nihlus. “We need to present this to the Council right away. It will be the perfect back up to my testimony.”

“I'll go contact Ambassador Udina and get started on gaining another audience,” Anderson gave Shepard a reassuring nod and strode out of the room.

Nihlus made a noise to draw their attention back. “How much were you told about what happened here?” he asked when Shepard met his eyes.

“That there was a situation,” she said. “That the civilian Elyse Nagai was injured stopping hitmen from killing you.”

Alenko and Williams immediately straightened; Wrex, Vakarian, and 'Zorah glanced between Shepard and Nihlus with varying levels of confusion and curiosity.

“That's the short version,” Nihlus admitted, sighing. “The kid was in my recovery room; she had some sort of problem that required treatment. I offered her a space to get away from the poking for a time,” Shepard marked the Spectre's micro-expression – something like happiness? – and that Vakarian noticed, too, if the tilt of his head was any clue. “She was there when they came in. The salarian stood just outside of the room, was probably their inside man and lookout. The asari and the turian had armour and weapons. And a syringe. If I'd just had my gun...” He broke off into a growl, running a hand over his fringe.

“So how'd she do it?” Wrex sounded mildly interested.

“With biotics,” said Nihlus, picking up a datapad and offering it. Shepard took it from him and the others crowded around her. “on a level previously unrecorded in humans.”

Shepard watched several clips from security cameras, bystanders, and one from just beyond the room's door – the salarian likely – which was the only one that showed anything with clarity. Together, they painted a gruesome picture: Elyse Nagai's face as she took in the situation and paled. Her leap over Nihlus' bed and grapple with the asari. The sudden blue glow of biotics as the two exchanged blows, and the impossibly powerful attack that sent the asari through the reinforced window; from a different angle, the unmoving body crashing to the road below. The turian's first shot striking Nagai in the shoulder; her oddly blank expression as she raised a Barrier. People screaming and jostling the salarian as they watched the blue glow surround the turian.

The distorted remains falling to the ground as the girl's eyes rolled up into her skull and she collapsed bonelessly.

“Spirits!” exclaimed Vakarian.

Vakarian's outburst reminded the Commander to take a moment to consider everyone's reactions. Wrex had an expression equivalent to a human's raised eyebrow. 'Zorah couldn't seem to speak. Alenko's jaw was hanging open slightly. Williams looked like she couldn't decide on whether to be angry or shocked.

She met Nihlus' gaze; he was also gauging their reactions. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. He imitated it.

“How is she?” the Commander asked.

“That's hard to say,” The bed-ridden turian raised one hand when Williams opened her mouth. “They patched up her shoulder just fine, and it should be good as new shortly. But there was more damage than just a gunshot wound.”

Alenko's attention was back on Nihlus. “From the biotics?”

“Yes,” Another datapad from his lap was offered. “The experts said she's lucky her implant didn't suffer a catastrophic failure, even if it's a newer model that should have failsafes,” He paused while Shepard and Alenko glanced over the datapad's contents. “According to the doctors, she'll sleep while her brain rests and recovers from the overuse. She should recover quickly with no lasting damage – _this_ time. There's no telling what might happen if she tries this again.”

“What about the salarian?” Shepard asked after a moment.

“Detained and questioned,” Nihlus sorted through more datapads before finding the one he was after and passing it over as well. “Didn't take much to get him talking, but he didn't know a lot. Probably why he was used. But the asari’s omni-tool linked her to a bank account that was traced to Saren.”

The report was short, but the summary of the salarian's confession was still concerning.

“She was also a target?” the Commander demanded incredulously.

“So it seems.”

It was Williams who asked, “But why?”

Nihlus shifted, looking sheepish to Shepard’s eye. “The salarian apparently said that he overheard the asari mention Eden Prime.”

Shepard’s mind whirled. Behind her, she vaguely heard Alenko giving Vakarian, Wrex, and ’Zorah a very brief explanation of what had happened on Eden Prime without mentioning their original mission or any specifics. She met Nihlus’ eyes; he’d been watching her again.

“She can’t stay here,” Shepard said.

“I agree.”

“Arranging for protective custody will –”

Nihlus cut in. “I’m taking her with us.”

The room was silent.

The Commander must have looked fearsome, because the bed-ridden turian held up both his hands in a placating gesture. “She was affected by the beacon, just like you. But she’s not a soldier –”

“That’s right, she’s _not_ –”

“– she’s not a soldier and she’s going to need protection, so –”

“The Alliance can take care of –”

“From Saren? A rogue Spectre? With _all_ his resources, even if his status is revoked?”

Shepard pressed her lips together in a thin line, but said nothing.

Nihlus sighed. “I’ve spoken with Captain Anderson. He’s agreed. I will be responsible for her. Once she’s recovered enough, I will begin training her to protect herself; she won’t be able to face a Spectre, but I’ll make sure she can keep herself safe,” When the Commander didn’t respond, Nihlus growled, “Can you think of a safer place for her than a ship like the  _Normandy_ ?”

“The _Normandy_ is a military vessel,” Shepard started stiffly.

“With specs like no other – even Saren’s,” retorted Nihlus. “None of the people he sends would be able to find her, let alone kill her.”

A moment of quiet. Then Shepard said, “You know my feelings on the matter,” She placed the datapads on the table. “We should prepare for the Council.”

 

* * *

 

Captain Anderson met them at the steps leading up to the petitioner's stage, much like the first time. Tali'Zorah asked nervously if she would be required to speak. After giving the group a glance, the Captain replied that only those who didn't mind the possibility of being questioned should follow him, Shepard, and Nihlus up. Most of them remained one level down, but Vakarian continued to keep pace just behind Nihlus, a not-so-subtle gesture of concern for the yet unsteady one-legged turian.

“You wanted proof,” Udina was saying as the four made their way to the stage. “There it is.”

“Together with Spectre Kryik's revised testimony, this evidence is irrefutable,” Sparatus, the turian Councilor, admitted. “Saren Arterius will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes.”

Shepard watched from the corner of her eyes as Anderson and Nihlus exchanged grim looks.

Then Councilor Tevos spoke, an edge of horror in her tone. “I recognise the other voice, the one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia.”

The salarian Councilor flinched, his large eyes widening slightly more than normal. The turian Councilor glanced at his asari counterpart with curiosity. On the petitioner's stage, only Nihlus showed any reaction to the name, a tensing of his facial plates that Shepard struggled to name. Apprehension?

“Who's she?” Shepard dared to ask when the silence continued.

“You must understand that matriarchs are powerful asari in the final stage of their lives,” the asari Councilor explained. “They have centuries of experience and wisdom, and often serve as guides and mentors for younger generations. Matriarch Benezia is an incredibly capable biotic, an influential individual, and has many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren.”

Valern, the salarian Councilor, cleared his throat. “What about this 'Conduit' they spoke of? And 'Reapers'... does that refer to what I think it does?”

“There's nothing else about the Conduit in the remaining data on the geth's core,” said Anderson. Shepard found herself stiffening up as he continued. “But it did have something about the Reapers. The geth believe they were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the protheans. Then they vanished. The geth seem to think the Reapers are gods, and that Saren is going to bring them back.”

“That would explain why they're working for him. And from the audio recording, it sounds like the Conduit, whatever it could be, is supposed to further this goal,” Valern muttered, almost to himself. “However, it could also be an convenient myth, a legend he is using to bend the geth to his will. This is only one piece of evidence, one clue. Guessing wildly at his motives will not help to stop him.”

“Agreed,” said Sparatus. “Besides, I find it hard to believe that even a supposedly advanced machine race could destroy a galactic civilization like the protheans' without leaving so much as a trace.”

Interestingly, the salarian Councilor gained a somewhat uncertain expression at that.

But Anderson was speaking again. “Whatever Saren's purpose, he's made it clear he has no reservations against destroying colonies in pursuit of his goals. He needs to be stopped.”

“Saren Arterius is now a rogue agent who will be on the run for his life,” the turian Councilor scoffed. “He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre.”

“That's not good enough!” Ambassador Udina growled. Shepard noted the barest hint of a smirk on his face. “You know he's hiding somewhere in the Traverse. Send your fleet in!”

“A fleet cannot track down one man,” said Valern.

“A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region. Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies,” the Ambassador pressed.

“Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems!” countered Sparatus. “The Council will _not_ instigate a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!”

“There's another option,” said Nihlus before the Ambassador could continue. “One that doesn't involve fleets or armies.”

“No, it's too soon!” The turian Councilor glared at the Spectre.

“Spectre Kryik's suggestion holds merit,” said Councilor Tevos. The glare was turned on her, but she continued mildly. “It would take time for other Spectres to respond, time in which more damage would be inflicted, and for whatever goal Saren pursues to come to fruition.”

“And Spectre Kryik is not yet recovered enough to take this on alone,” added the salarian Councilor. “But with some help – with another Spectre...”

When Councilor Sparatus stonily accepted the logic of the situation, Shepard caught a vicious, triumphant grin on Ambassador Udina's face. It was there for just a moment, gone so quickly that she had to be looking for it to see.

After the short ceremony, Shepard was congratulated by the Captain, her mismatched team, and Nihlus. The turian Spectre looked very smug about it, too.

The Ambassador reminded them that there was no time to celebrate, gruffly directing Captain Anderson to help him tackle the issue of a ship, crew, supplies, and all the associated paperwork. But he did give the Commander a wink when he thought nobody else was looking.

Shepard wasn't quite sure how to feel about that.

 

* * *

 

It was the women's bathroom on the  _Normandy_ , but everything had an unnatural gleam. When she turned around, Elyse couldn't see the door; that was what first made her think she was dreaming.

“Hey!” someone called, and the strangely familiar voice echoed in the room.

“Who's there?” Elyse looked around, squinting against the light. There! In the mirror above the sinks was movement. Elyse approached hesitantly. Then stopped with a shocked gasp. “You!”

It was not her reflection that looked out at her from the mirror. The girl – young woman? – stood slightly taller than she did, and had more fullness to her overall figure. Where Elyse's nearly black hair curled in lazy waves, this girl's brown and auburn hair lay mostly straight. Her youthful face was closer to a true oval, lacking Elyse's sharply outlined bones, and splotches of red the colour of the girl's lips marked her chin and right cheek near the jawline. Behind the large round glasses, though, her eyes were the same.

“You're Reeva,” said Elyse.

The girl in the mirror nodded. “And you're Elyse.”

“You look like me,” A pause. “Or maybe I look like you?”

“We could be sisters, from appearances,” Reeva agreed. “It’s no wonder Shepard thought you were sixteen, Asian heritage being what it is. Perhaps we're distantly related?”

They gave each other considering looks. After a moment, they both shook their heads, and the weirdly synchronised movement was unsettling.

“I don't think we're related. At least, not that way,” Elyse began.

“Because otherwise you'd have heard of a game that predicted what's going on in the galaxy right now,” said Reeva, finishing Elyse's thought process.

A shiver shook the two at the same time, and further discomfitted them. An idea was beginning to take shape in Elyse's mind, one that chilled her to the bone. From Reeva's expression, it was possible she thought the same.

There was a question she'd had since the seizure in the hospital. Elyse asked, “Are you...” She had to clear her throat to continue. “Are you really dead?”

“I think so,” said Reeva, looking even more troubled. “I'm not sure, but the last thing I remember – you saw it, didn't you? In the hospital.”

“You were very sick,” said Elyse, making as if to reach out to the mirror but letting her hand drop before she could touch it. “Your parents were there the last time you woke up.”

“How is this possible?” Reeva shouted, slamming her hands on the sink in the mirror. Elyse flinched, and Reeva grimaced, looking contrite. “Sorry.”

Elyse waved it off. “I feel the same. This feels so unreal.”

“Well, _this_ is a dream. But I know what you mean,” Reeva also made an abortive motion to touch the glass between them. “What are you going to do?”

“Don't you mean ' _we_ '?” asked Elyse. Reeva showed her an eerily familiar raised eyebrow. “When we're awake, we have both our memories. You affect my body just as much as I do. Or have you forgotten what happened in Udina's office?”

Reeva made a mildly disgusted expression. “That's right. Do you think we finally have the answer to our question from then? 'Who am I?'”

“Could it be possible?” Elyse's voice broke. “We are both?”

So did Reeva's. “And neither.”

The dream ended abruptly.

Elyse opened her eyes as the pain in her shoulder reached through the sleep-fog. The bulkheads of the  _Normandy_ 's infirmary were illuminated only by the glow of the machines that surrounded her on the cot.

Fear struck her heart. She'd been trying to avoid the  _Normandy_ , not get stuck back on it! This shouldn't be happening!

“Fuck this,” she mumbled to herself. She shifted slightly to a less painful position and tried to go back to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all the people reading this story, those who have the courage to review and those who just like to lurk! And a huge thanks to my ever-patient beta-editors! Look, it's up! Don't hurt me!


End file.
